


Texan Rhapsody

by DracoWillHearAboutThis



Category: Red White & Royal Blue - Casey McQuiston
Genre: Alex is 16 and Henry is 17, Alex is not dealing well with his parents' divorce, Alternate Universe - High School, Friends to Lovers, Henry and Pez are transfer students, Henry is not in line for the throne, Insomnia, M/M, POV Alternating, Panic Attacks, Set in Austin, Undiagnosed ADHD, misuse of medication
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-14
Updated: 2020-05-03
Packaged: 2021-03-02 05:15:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 9
Words: 37,612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23649805
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DracoWillHearAboutThis/pseuds/DracoWillHearAboutThis
Summary: Alex's junior year had barely begun and he was already done. His parents couldn't be in the same room without conjuring a scenario reminiscent of storm troops marching into battle, Liam hadn't talked to him in months, and now, to top it all off, his Mom was talking about running for Presidency, as if a nationwide campaign was what this family needed.And then, a British transfer student was dropped into his life (or, into the seat next to him, to be quite exact), and everything changed.
Relationships: Alex Claremont-Diaz/Henry Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor
Comments: 161
Kudos: 314





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, my dear readers,
> 
> here I am, with my first fic for this fandom! Please, let me apologise beforehand - I am not native, but I am European and have relatives in England, and I am therefore terrible with Americanisms. My spelling will, therefore, stay BE, for a large part.
> 
> Other than that, I hope you'll enjoy this! I've been playing around with this idea in my head for the past two weeks and now I finally sat down to write it. I set the scene relatively close to Alex's canon background, with some small adjustments. There might be some triggers here, as a portion of this fic will focus on Alex's mental struggles. As an author, I have found these very intriguing in the book and decided I wanted to explore them more, in a different timeline.
> 
> Of course, my main focus will be on Alex and Henry, though, seeing that I've been absolutely obsessed with them lately. Anyway, enough talking. Please enjoy this first, rather short, introduction!

The day Henry and Pez transferred to Alex’s school was a too warm and too humid September day, even for someone used to Austin weather. Alex had been in a horrible mood all morning. He’d not slept the previous night and his presentation on the Chicano movement in the first period during American history hadn’t gone as smoothly as he'd wanted it to. Granted, he’d still gotten an A on it, but he’d forgotten half of his notes at home, and while he’d known most of it by heart, he’d still have liked to check some of the finer points instead of being forced to just wing it. So he was already silently fuming in his seat when their homeroom teacher entered with two new students in tow, barely paying attention when he introduced them. All he wanted was for this class to be over already so he could meet June and Nora in the cafeteria and drown his sorrows in chocolate fudge brownies.

But of course, life did not grant him such a reprieve, for the moment he closed his eyes and discreetly rubbed his knuckles against his smarting temples, Mr Gibbs said: “Okay, Percy, there’s a free seat right here, and Henry, you can sit back there next to Alex.”

It took all of Alex’s self-control not to groan out loud. Right, of course, out of the two free seats in the whole classroom, one of them had to be located next to him. 

He forced himself to open his eyes and glance up at the boy pushing back the chair from the table next to his to sit down. He looked like someone out of a fashion catalogue, Alex noted absently - but not for hip, young fashion, mind you. Maybe Ralph Lauren, if the polo shirt was anything to go by. His face was interesting, though, and when he caught Alex’s eyes to send him a small smile, Alex almost forgot, for a split-second, that he was in a horrid mood.

Huh.

“Hello,” the boy said, under his breath, and he sounded British. Was he British? Alex had not paid attention. 

“Hi,” Alex returned, but before either of them could say anything else, Mr Gibbs started talking again, drawing their attention back to the front. 

“Now, as I announced last week, I’ll be pairing you up for your political studies project today.”

This time, Alex did groan out loud, though the sentiment was thankfully echoed throughout the class, so he did not stand out. Honestly, Alex didn’t feel like pairing up with _anyone_ for political science. Being the son of the governor of Texas and a likely candidate for the senate of California, he was bound to do 90% of the work regardless of who he was paired with. Not to mention that Mr Gibbs had a tendency of pairing them by alphabet, so the only options for ‘Claremont-Diaz, Alexander’ were ‘Bryant, Olivia’ and ‘Gautam, Saagar’, and while he preferred Saagar to Livia (for a Cheerleader, the girl was awfully silent whenever they worked together), their political views were polar opposites. It wouldn’t end well.

“Now, now,” Mr Gibbs chuckled. “Quiet down, and let’s get this over with.” He picked up his attendance list and turned to the blackboard, noting down names.

“Alvares, Gabriella and Bryant, Olivia;

Claremont-Diaz, Alexander and Fox, Henry

Gautam, Saagar and -”

Alex blinked, stunned at the unexpected turn of events. Then, he looked over at British-Polo-Shirt-Model next to him, who was biting his lip and looking at him with startlingly blue eyes. 

“Looks like we’re partners,” he commented. 

Alex nodded, slightly numb.

***

“So,” Henry spoke up tentatively after the bell had rung and Alex was packing his things, ready to flee for the cafeteria, “how are we going to do this?”

“Do what?” Alex asked, frowning.

“The project?” he asked, and yes, that was definitely a British accent. “Are we going to meet up, or -?”

“Well, unless you plan to make me do all the work, we’d better,” Alex sniped, and Henry’s eyes widened.

“I never meant to imply -” he started, blinking rapidly. “Of course, I’m going to do my share!”

“Glad to hear it,” Alex sighed. “Meet me at the library at three? We’ll talk things through then.”

“All right,” Henry nodded, before adding, a little sheepishly. “Just one question, though. Where is the library?”

Alex closed his eyes. Right. New kid.

“You know what?” he sighed. “Why don’t you come to the cafeteria with me? I’ll show you around on the way.”

“Really?” Henry asked, sounding hesitant. “I don’t want to be a bother.”

“It’s not like I have anything else to do,” Alex shrugged. “I’m just meeting my sister and our friend for lunch.”

“Okay,” Henry nodded, sending him a soft smile. “Thanks, then. I’d appreciate it.”

Before Alex could reply, though, the other new boy that Mr Gibbs had introduced earlier while Alex had been spacing out wrapped his arms around Henry’s shoulder’s, resting his chin on the right one. “H!” he cooed. “Look at you, you’re making friends! Auntie Pezza is so proud!”

Henry rolled his eyes. “Alex, this is Percy Okonjo,” he introduced them. “We moved here together.”

“You can call me ‘Pez’,” the boy grinned. “Like the sweets. You have those in the US, right? Please tell me you have them here.”

“Of course we do,” Alex snorted. “Hi, I’m Alex Claremont-Diaz.”

“Wait,” Pez frowned at him. “Isn’t your Mum the governor? Ellen Claremont?”

“News travel fast, I see,” Alex raised his eyebrows. “Here for a couple of hours, and you’re already in on the rumour mill.”

“Nah,” Pez grinned. “I’m just our designated Wiki-researcher whenever we move somewhere new. Bea gave me the title - when was it, Hen? Before Johannesburg?”

“I’m pretty sure it was Jakarta,” Henry frowned. “I remember you rambling on about colonial history for a week.”

“Right,” Pez nodded. “So, I tend to fact-check for us before we move somewhere so we don’t look like complete neanderthals every time.”

“Okay,” Alex blinked, holding up a hand. “How many cities have y'all lived in?”

“Oh, please ask something easier.” Henry moaned. “I lost count.”

“Our parents are the founders of the Okonjo-Fox foundation, you see,” Pez explain. “And they’re extremely hands-on with the business, so each and every time they open up a new branch… Well, the whole family moves along.”

“That… sounds rough,” Alex says. 

“You get used to it, after a while,” Henry shrugs. 

“Yeah, it just sucks that Bea didn’t join us this time around,” Pez sighed, sounding a little forlorn. “Bea is Henry’s older sister. She stayed in Paris to go to university.”

“Yeah,” Henry muttered, his face falling a little. “I do miss her.”

Alex watched him for a moment, then he cleared his throat. “Well, speaking of sisters,” he said. “Mine will be wondering where I am by now. You still want to join me for lunch?”

“Sure,” Henry smiled, and Pez whooped. 

It made Alex smile, too, the stretch of his lips unexpected but welcome. He shouldered his bag and stepped around the table, the other two on his heels. 

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Liam lingering near the front of the classroom with a couple of his basketball teammates, but even though he felt like the other boy might be watching him, he forced himself not to check. Liam had been ignoring him for months, after all. 

They made their way down the halls to the cafeteria, and Alex pointed out all the important locations to Henry and Pez along the way - the science labs, the auditorium, the nurse station and of course, the library. 

By the time they arrived at the cafeteria, all chocolate fudge brownies had been sold, but June had bought one for him and set it aside on her tray.

“I love you, I love you, I love you,” Alex sighed as he sat down across from her, looking longingly at the chocolaty deliciousness. 

June snorted and shook her head. “I know my baby brother,” she pointed out, but then her eyes wandered to Henry and Pez, who were taking the seats next to Alex. “Oh my god, Alex! You made friends!”

“You don’t need to sound so surprised!” Alex called, slightly offended now. “I’m a perfectly charming human being!”

“While that is true, you have to admit that you don’t have the best track record in the department of making friends,” Nora pointed out, raising her eyebrows. 

“I have friends!” Alex snapped.

“Who, Alex?” June sighed. “Literally, who?”

“Nora!” Alex called, pointing to her.

“Nora is my friend. You just stole her.”

“That’s so territorial of you, oh my god!”

“Fine, apart from Nora, then. Name one friend, Alex.”

Alex glared at her but kept silent. She knew very well that Liam wasn’t talking to him, and that the whole thing was a sore point with him. 

“Mate, this sounds like a fated encounter,” Pez exclaimed happily, clapping Henry’s shoulder. “Henry never makes friends, either!”

“In my defence,” Henry said, rather stiffly, “We’re never sticking around one school long enough to make friends.”

“Excuses!” Pez called. “I have thousands of friends on Facebook and you never connect with anyone!”

“I wouldn’t call those ‘friends’, Pez,” Henry frowned, and Pez waved him off with a roll of his eyes. 

“Alex, please take care of my socially impaired brother here,” Pez pleaded. “We’re going to be here until graduation and I want him to experience things like a normal teenager for once in his life.”

“You sound like Bea,” Henry complained. “Besides, if you don’t stop talking, you’re going to make sure to scare everyone off me for life.”

“They’re doing a brilliant job of that,” Alex snorted, catching his eyes. “Selling us off to the highest bidder, and all the way marketing us like an underfed pig with three legs and hereditary diseases.”

“But in the most affectionate way,” June smiled, offering him his brownie and Alex glowered but took it.

***

By the time Alex was through with classes, he had an headache the size of Guadalupe Peak and all he wanted was to go home and sleep. But he had promised to meet Henry in the library, so he dragged himself across the halls until he could spot Henry stand awkwardly at the entrance. He smiled at Alex, but he didn’t have the strength to return it.

“Hi,” he sighed. “Let’s get this over with, shall we?” 

Henry frowned and followed him towards a free table. Alex drew out his notebook and a pen and looked up at Henry blearily. 

“So,” Henry asked, sounding tentative. “Any ideas for the project?”

“That depends on your knowledge about American politics,” Alex shrugged. “From what I gathered, your education has been fairly international.”

“True,” Henry admitted. “But I can make up the gap through research.”

“Or we can choose a topic where we can use your knowledge,” Alex suggested. “A comparison, for example.” A sharp wave of pain flashed through his skull and he made a face, bringing his hand up to rub at his forehead.

“Right,” Henry nodded, watching him. “Are you all right, Alex?”

“That’s a loaded question,” he muttered.

“You look really exhausted,” Henry continued. “Maybe we should do this another time?”

Alex sighed, exasperated. “ _‘Really exhausted’_ is kind of my natural state at the moment, so we might as well go ahead,” he snapped. 

“Okay,” Henry replied, clearly taken aback.

The silence between them stretched on, and Alex sighed. “Sorry,” he muttered. “I just haven’t been sleeping well.” For, like, a year, he didn’t add.

“I see,” Henry nodded. “Insomnia sucks. I know it too well.”

“Tell me about it,” Alex sighed. “With everything going on at home, it’s been difficult to find some peace of mind.”

“What’s going on?” Henry asked.

“What, I thought Pez online-stalked us?” Alex raised his eyebrows.

“He didn’t _stalk_ you!” Henry hissed, looking appalled. “He just looked up facts on Texas, and that your mother is the governor happens to be one of them! He didn’t go through your social media, I promise!”

“I see,” Alex nodded, smiling tiredly. “Well, even without advanced stalking methods, it’s easy to find out that my parents went through a divorce last year, so I've sort of taken to assuming everyone knows.”

“Oh,” Henry said. “I’m sorry to hear that.”

“Yeah, well,” Alex sighed, fumbling with his notebook. “My Dad’s back in Cali now, preparing to run for senate there, so I barely see him, and when I do, my parents are at each other’s throats like a pack of wolves. It’s been especially bad since my Mom met someone new. It’s not that Leo’s a bad sort, exactly,” he sighed, “it’s just that she’s been all about having him get to know me and June, and I know it’s a dick move of me but I’m not there yet and it’s been eating away at me. And now she’s started talking about running for President in the 2016 race, which is great and all and I support her, but our family’s a mess and if I imagine the added stress of a campaign -” He cut himself off abruptly, glancing at Henry. “Sorry,” he muttered. “I didn’t mean to rant. Especially since we, like, don’t know each other.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Henry frowned. “I won’t tell. Besides, that sounded like it needed to get out.”

“I guess so,” Alex sighed, rubbing at his forehead again. 

“You know, I think you should really take the afternoon off and go to sleep,” Henry suggested. “I have tons of things to catch up on, anyway, seeing that I arrived weeks after the semester started. We can still do this tomorrow?”

“I have Lacrosse tomorrow,” Alex sighed. “But I have an hour before training starts?”

“That should be enough to brainstorm,” Henry nodded. He pushed his notebook across the table to Alex and pointed at the blank page. “Write down your number?” he suggested. “Mum said she’d get our mobile contracts sorted out today, so I’m easier to keep in contact with.”

“Okay,” Alex nodded, scribbling down his number and his e-mail for good measure. “Thanks. And sorry I’m such a mess.”

“Don’t apologise,” Henry smiled. “We’re all allowed our bad days every now and then.”

Alex smiled at him then, finding that he didn’t even have to fake it. 

***

Despite his headache and his exhaustion, Alex didn’t fall asleep immediately after getting home. It took him a lot of trashy reality TV to even shut his mind down enough to attempt sleep. 

When he finally crawled into bed, he had a message from a new number.

_‘Hi, this is Henry. Hope you’re already sleeping when I send this. Thanks for showing me around today, and don’t worry about earlier. I’m looking forward to working with you. See you tomorrow!’_

Alex smiled as he shut down his data and sound and put his phone away. Maybe June had been right. Maybe he had actually made a friend. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Right, so my brain demanded I continue this story right away, and here we are with the second chapter. Please don't get used to fast updates like these. This is the holidays and the lockdown making me write obsessively. It's not how I naturally work, I'm afraid. 
> 
> This chapter is from Henry's POV, and it was a lot of fun to write Henry hopelessly struggle against Alex's charm. Poor baby boy never stood a chance. I hope you'll enjoy this!!

Henry was relieved to see Alex looking a bit less peaky in class the next morning. 

“So, I take it you got some sleep?” Henry asked him as they stood in line at the cafeteria, Pez busy with his mobile for the moment.

“A couple of hours,” Alex allowed, smiling at him. “Thanks for yesterday, by the way.”

“Don’t mention it,” Henry shrugged. “Are we still on for later?”

“Of course,” Alex nodded. “I’ll see you at the library after the last period. What electives are you taking, by the way?” 

“I’ve taken up Spanish, actually,” Henry smiled at him. “So I might need your help eventually.”

“Sweet,” Alex grinned, and this time, his smile stretched wide enough that his cheeks dimpled. “Just say the word. Have you had any classes before?”

“Beginner’s classes during our three-month interval in Buenos Aires, but it looks like I’ll be able to catch up,” Henry mused. “Not to sound stuck-up or anything, but they don’t offer my level of French or Latin here.”

Alex winced and patted his shoulder in sympathy. “That’s frustrating,” he allowed. “But then again, learning another language is fun! Plus, you can help me out with Latin if I get stuck. Win-win.”

“Indeed,” Henry nodded. “I’m surprised you’ve taken up Latin. It doesn’t seem to be all that popular in the US. Not that it’s popular in Europe, exactly,” Henry amended, making a face, “just, it’s got more prestige there, I’d say.”

“I’m a history nerd at heart,” Alex grinned. “And Spanish seemed like a waste of time for me, so I thought, why not learn a language and history at the same time?”

“I get that,” Henry beamed. “History is fascinating. And it’s always more interesting to learn about things if you can put it into a cultural or historical background. It’s why I love literature so much.”

“Well, now I know who I need to partner with for our next English assignment,” Alex smirked, and Henry laughed. 

They finally made it to the end of the queue then, and Alex stepped up to order. Henry turned to look at Pez, only to see the other boy smirking at him knowingly. 

“What?” Henry mouthed.

“Look at you, getting all chummy,” Pez breathed. 

“Oh, please, shut up,” Henry moaned, under his breath, mortified. 

Pez cackled, and Alex turned to look over his shoulder. “Am I missing something?” he asked, bewildered. 

“Nothing,” Henry said quickly, and Alex blinked before turning back around to retrieve his lunch.

***

“So,” Henry asked hours later in the library, as they had made themselves comfortable at the same table they had occupied yesterday, “do you have any ideas on the project?”

“Well,” Alex frowned, leaning back in his chair, “the obvious choices would be the Political System and its Development, the Political Parties, Media and Politics, Religion and Politics, etc etc.”

“I can hear a 'but' in there,” Henry said, quirking an eyebrow.

“Well,” Alex shrugged. “I can do all of that stuff in my sleep. It’s not really a challenge.”

“So what do you _want_ to do, then?” Henry emphasised.

“Things I probably shouldn’t,” Alex grinned, then shrugged. “I like stats, and I’m invested in US politics, not only because of my Mom but because _I_ care about all the shit that’s happening in this country. So I know stuff. Without research, I could prepare a rough presentation of the voting behaviour of Texans in the last ten years and analyse it by ethnicity, sexual identity and social background. I could name you the main issues the next campaign is going to hinge on. This is the kind of person I am.”

Henry hummed, looking at him. “Do you want to go into politics someday?” he asked.

“Actually, yes,” he grinned. “I’ll be in congress by thirty.”

Henry chuckled. “You sure set your aims high,” he commented.

“Of course I did,” Alex scoffed, jutting out his chin. “I know what I want, and I’m sure as hell going to make sure I’ll get it. Besides, no one is going to be able to say no to this face.”

Henry laughed, shaking his head. Then he bit his lip, thinking. “Okay,” he said, at last. “You want to analyse voting behaviour for our presentation? Let’s do that.”

“How?” Alex asked, sitting up.

“We could pick out some minority groups,” Henry suggested. “Immigrants, LGBTQ+ - and then we highlight their voting behaviour in comparison to the average voter. You’ll do the US side, I’ll pick out a couple of EU states, maybe a few other interesting international examples, and we work our findings into a presentation. See if we can find trends that translate worldwide, maybe.”

“That sounds interesting,” Alex muttered, intrigued. “I bet no one in class does anything like that.”

“See,” Henry chuckled. “And you’ll have a challenge, at least. You won’t get bored.”

“I won’t,” Alex laughed, sounding delighted. “Also, I’m glad to hear you actually _meant_ it when you said you’d do your share. Cheers, dude.”

“People actually just shove the work onto you?” Henry frowned. “That’s not right!”

“Well, welcome to my world,” Alex rolled his eyes. “To be fair, I might be a bit at fault. I’m really ambitious and tend to pull work towards me when I see my group mates are slacking off or aren’t working up to my standards. And being who I am -”

“Your standards are high,” Henry nodded, pursing his lips. “Still, they should see this as an opportunity to work harder towards an outstanding grade, not to give up and let you do all of it by yourself.”

“Yeah, well, I’ve been saying this for years, but no one seems to listen to me,” Alex said, slightly bitter. “I’m glad to hear you’re different. Maybe this project will actually be fun, for once.”

“I hope so,” Henry smiled. 

“Anyway,” Alex said, checking his mobile. “I hate to cut this short, but I need to run. Practice starts soon.”

“Sure,” Henry nodded. “Go ahead.”

“You’re not coming?” Alex asked, getting to his feet.

“Nah, I’ll be doing some homework until Pez comes to pick me up,” Henry shrugs. “He’s auditioning for the drama club today.”

“Why am I not surprised?” Alex grinned. “He’ll pass with standing ovations, I’m sure.”

“You know it,” Henry shook his head, smiling fondly. “When will we meet up again?”

“Let’s give ourselves some time to collect material,” Alex frowned. “How about next week?” 

“Sounds good to me,” Henry nodded. “Have a good practice!”

“Thanks,” Alex smiled, waving at him. “Say congrats to Pez from me!”

“I will!” Henry smiled, watching as Alex turned and left. 

***

“I need to start working on my club members right away,” Pez sighed, shaking his head. “I mean, these proposals they have for their end-of-year play! It’s all so dull, Hen! I thought this was America, the land of entertainment!” He considered, then he muttered: “Do you think they’d go for a musical?”

Henry smiled, shaking his head. “Work your charm, Pez, and they won’t be able to say no,” he said, quite honestly.

Pez grinned, seeming satisfied with that answer.

Distractedly, Henry’s eyes wandered towards one of the sports fields and stayed there when he realised that it was occupied by the Lacrosse team. It didn’t take long for him to find Alex, mainly due to the fact that they were still doing warm-ups and no one was wearing a helmet yet. Henry saw Alex chatting animatedly with his teammates as he stretched, throwing his head back to laugh as one of them responded. 

He looked so good that Henry felt like he was burning up just watching him.

_Oh no._

“What’s so interesting over there?” Pez asked, nosy as ever, following Henry’s gaze.

“Nothing,” Henry muttered, but he couldn’t help the flush that spread over his face. “Let’s go.”

“Is that Alex?” Pez asked, sounding smug. “You fancy him, don’t you?”

“Will you please shut up?” Henry moaned. 

“Oh, come off it, H,” Pez chuckled, slinging an arm around his shoulder as he continued walking. “We talked about this. There’s nothing wrong with fancying a fit bloke, and let’s be honest, Alex is _remarkably_ fit, indeed. And you’re really hitting it off, too.”

“He’s the son of the governor of Texas, Pez,” Henry hissed. “His mother might be running for Presidency in 2016. There is no way he’d ever be interested in me.”

“You don’t know that,” Pez argued. “She’s a Democrat.”

“Democrat or not, this is still Texas,” Henry sighed. “Just because Bea and you are okay with my sexuality doesn’t mean everyone will be, Pez.”

“I think you’re being ridiculous and self-destructive,” Pez said. 

“Actually, I think I’m being rather self-preserving right now,” Henry grumbled. “Now, can we please stop talking about this?”

“For now,” Pez allowed.

***

“Spill, Hen!” Bea beckoned him from the other side of the screen. “I want to hear all about Alex.”

“Oh my god!” Henry moaned, sinking into his pillows. “Pez, I told you to drop it!”

“Not a chance, darling,” Pez grinned from the other window, propped up on his elbows and looking like a cat who got the cream. “We don’t want to exclude Bea just because she’s stuck in Paris, do we?”

“Don’t you have a lesson to attend?!” Henry demanded, glaring at the picture of Bea. 

She smiled innocently. “Not until eleven,” she said. “The joys of being a university student, Henry. I have all the time in the world to pester my little brother about that cute American jock he’s fancying.”

“Alex is not a jock,” Henry called, despite himself. 

“Pez said you stared at him longingly during practice,” Bea said, raising an eyebrow. 

“He plays Lacrosse,” Pez explained. “But he’s right, he’s not a jock. He’s more of a student president type.”

“Ohhh,” Bea cooed. “That’s even better.”

“I hate you both,” Henry moaned. 

“You love us,” Pez grinned, before telling Bea, quite unperturbed by Henry’s despair: “They’re doing a project for political science together and today at the cafeteria, they nerded out about history.”

“Oh, that’s precious!” Bea squeaked. “He sounds perfect for you, Hen!”

“He’s straight!” Henry called. 

“You don’t know that,” Pez rolled his eyes, and when Henry opened his mouth, he cut him off: “No, I don’t want to hear anything about his mother! You and I both know that our families don’t define our sexualities!”

Henry fell silent, caught out.

“Who’s his mother?” Bea frowned.

“Ellen Claremont,” Pez told her. “The Governor of Texas, and apparently a future Democratic candidate for the next presidential race.” Bea whistled under her breath. 

“Right,” Henry frowned. “If you could keep that to yourself, that would be great. Alex told me in confidence.”

“Oh,” Pez smirked. “He tells you things in confidence?”

“Oh, will you shut up?” Henry groaned. “He’s just - he has a lot going on at home, okay? It’s rough on him and he needed to let off some steam.”

“Well, I’m glad to hear you’re bonding with him,” Bea said, her voice disarmingly honest. “You don’t usually do that. You always keep to yourself.”

“Well,” Henry shrugged, feeling self-conscious now. “We’ll stay here for a bit longer than we normally do, right? So I might as well make an effort.” 

“That’s the spirit,” Pez called encouragingly.

“Which is exactly why I can’t mess things up with Alex,” Henry pointed out, glaring at them. “We’re becoming friends! I can’t use a giant crush on him that will mess everything up!”

“Why is he always so pessimistic?” Pez whined. “What did we do wrong?”

“It isn’t us,” Bea sighed, looking sad. “I think it’s the rest of the family - Grandma, Pip and in some ways, Mum. He never stood a chance.”

“I’m right here,” Henry grumbled. “Stop talking over my head.”

“Maybe if you started really talking _to_ us instead of just warding off all our well-meant advice, we wouldn’t,” Pez told him slyly.

Henry glowered at him. “You know what,” he said. “It’s late, and we _do_ have school tomorrow, Pez. I think I’m going to call it a night.”

“You’re such a spoilsport,” Pez rolled his eyes.

“Fine,” Bea sighed, sounding resigned. “But call me this weekend, okay? I miss you, darling.”

“Miss you, too,” Henry mumbled, meaning it despite his exasperation with them. “Have a good day, Bea. And Pez, go to sleep.”

Pez just stuck out his tongue, and Henry ended the call. He sighed deeply and stared up at the ceiling. 

He was _not_ going to fall for Alex. He knew better than this.

***

Henry successfully held onto his mantra for the better part of his first week, and he was slowly starting to settle into a routine. Most classes he shared with Alex, and he’d sit next to him, for by some strange coincidence, no matter which room the class changed into, the very seat to Alex’s right was always free. He had half a mind to ask about it - after all, Alex seemed popular enough, and he seemed to have no trouble talking to his classmates. Even if he, like Henry, had trouble striking up close friendships, they sure as hell didn’t seem to go out of his way to avoid him. He never asked, though, for he felt like their tentative friendship was too new to prod like this. 

For lunch, Pez and Henry followed Alex to sit with June and Nora. Sometimes, they were joined by June’s boyfriend Evan, who was nice enough to talk to though Pez lamented his very existence since he’d developed quite a liking for June.

“These Claremont-Diaz siblings, mate,” Pez said, meaningfully. “Good genes if I ever saw them.”

Nora was the only one Henry hadn’t known what to do with, at first. She had a dry, sharp humour and an analytical brain that would have put any data software to shame. For most of Wednesday lunch, Henry had watched Alex’s and her quick-paced discussion about the odds that Alex’s father made the Californian senate, and all the while, he wondered if the two of them were actually a couple and he’d been missing it. Then, on Thursday, Nora made an offhand comment about texting a girl she’d met at a party last weekend and Alex threw enough suggestive replies her way to make it very clear that a) they weren’t seeing each other and b) that Nora was definitely not straight, and Alex did not seem to be phased by it. Neither, he noted, was anyone else at the table.

“I told you,” Pez elbowed him, his grin self-satisfied as they walked to the bus station that same afternoon. “Give him some credit, mate. You Brits are supposed to be awful traditionalists and look at you and Bea. It doesn’t mean that Texans are as backwards as their reputation.”

“I never thought that!” Henry muttered defensively. 

“But you were afraid of it,” Pez said knowingly. “Just tell him. I’m sure he’ll surprise you.”

“I’m not going to tell him I’m gay,” Henry huffed. “I’ve known him for a week, Pez!”

“I was suggesting you tell him you fancy him, actually.”

“God, you’re hopeless.”

“No,” Pez corrected. “You are.”

He had been able to wind himself around the actual realisation of how fucked he was until Friday afternoon. He’d found himself at the library, leafing through books for his project with Alex when he spotted the other boy sprawled across a corner table in the back. His head was resting on his folded arms and his eyes were closed. He was obviously fast asleep. 

Henry stared at him for a long while. He wondered if Alex hadn’t slept yet again. He had looked tired, but Henry had come to accept the rings under Alex’s eyes as a given. Alex hadn’t exactly been wrong when he’d said that ‘exhaustion’ seemed to be his natural state. 

His eyes kept lingering on Alex’s sleeping form, unable to tear himself away. His dark curls fell into his eyes, and Henry's fingers twitched to brush them away, to feel the warmth of his tanned skin under his fingers. He balled his hands into fists and redirected his gaze to his book, his heart racing. 

Time passed, but Alex didn’t wake. When Pez’s rehearsal ended, he messaged to tell him he was going to stay at the library a little longer; that he should head home without him. His eyes kept wandering to Alex’s slumbering form as the library emptied.

Finally, they were the only two people left, and he knew that he had to wake him before the librarian threw them out. It was almost five. 

He packed his things and put his books away, buying himself time before at last heading over to Alex’s table, coming to a halt to look down at him once more. He did not stir, not having noticed Henry's arrival. With a deep breath, he reached out to nudge Alex in the shoulder.

The other boy let out a sound of displeasure, frowning. Then, he blinked his eyes open, seeming confused as to where he was, before straightening up with a start, blinking rapidly.

“Did I fall asleep?” he muttered, voice rough, and Henry’s chest felt tight as he watched him.

“Yeah,” he replied. “Sorry that I had to wake you, but I think they’re closing down the library soon, and -”

“Shit, what time is it?” Alex asked, glancing at his mobile. “Ugh, great, I missed my ride with June. She tried to call me. I’m such an idiot.”

“Well, I’m actually heading for the bus station, too,” Henry admitted. “Pez went home a while ago. You want to join me?”

“Sure,” Alex sighed, shoving his stuff into his backpack and shouldering it. “Man, you must think I’m a right mess, dude. You always catch me at my most unflattering.”

“Honestly, don’t worry about it,” Henry ensured him as they left the library. “That’s what friends are for, right?”

Alex sent him a smile. “Right,” he nodded. “I guess I’m out of practice.” There was a moment of silence before he muttered: “I can be a lot, you know? Too much, for most people. And I know I haven’t exactly been at my best lately. It just… tends to turn people off, is all.”

Henry frowned, choosing his words carefully before he answered: “Well, I don’t know what happened, exactly, but people who pull away from you when you’re going through rough times don’t sound like very good friends.”

Alex didn’t answer for a long minute, and first, Henry thought he had overstepped, but then, he muttered: “I guess you’re right.” He looked up at Henry and sent him a soft smile. “You know what?” he said, making an attempt to sound more cheerful. “We should do something this weekend. Something fun. I can be fun, I promise.”

“I believe that,” Henry chuckled. “And sure, I’m free.”

“Great!” Alex grinned, looking much more cheerful now, like someone had turned the light on in his eyes. _Damn,_ Henry thought. “I’ll show you around Austin, then! Time to make you feel at home in our beautiful town!”

“Can’t wait,” Henry answered, a little breathless, but Alex didn’t seem to notice.

Pez had been right. He was in _so_ deep, and this was going to become a problem real fast. 

Still, he couldn’t bring himself to step away, because Alex’s smile, when it was genuine, was positively radiant.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here I am with the new chapter! I don't have anything to say for myself besides the fact that this is my last couple of days of freedom and I'm enjoying my holidays to its fullest by writing my heart out about these two morons. So, have the new chapter.
> 
> This one is once again written from Henry's POV. Next one will probably be Alex again. I will shift as I see fit, depending on what feels more compelling to write at that point of the story. 
> 
> Now, enough talk. Please enjoy the next chapter :)

Alex was, in Henry’s humble opinion, the best tour guide in Austin, and he wasn’t even getting paid. Henry had always felt that the best way to get to know a city was through the eyes of a local, but Alex, with his obsession for history and his penchant for talking, provided the perfect mix between cultural knowledge and simple fun. They took the Jeep the Claremont siblings came to school with each morning to cruise through town, Alex having an exact idea of what he wanted to show Henry and taking them there for a stroll before bombarding him with historical backgrounds or little anecdotes that had Henry more entertained than he could remember being for a long time. 

The sun was shining but it wasn’t warm enough to be stifling, for once. Maybe he was also slowly getting used to the Texan climate. Still, they stopped every once in a while for cool drinks, all the while chatting away easily, and Henry felt fierce gratefulness towards the universe that out of all the places in the world, this was where his and Pez’s parents had decided to settle down for the foreseeable future. Out of all the cities they had lived in, it was quickly becoming his favourite, and he knew that was mainly down to Alex. 

“So, do you have any plans for tonight?” Alex asked casually once they had settled down on the grass in Zilker Park with two bottles of Mexican Coke (which Alex had insisted he needed in his life, and Henry had to admit that the taste was remarkable).

“Not really,” Henry shook his head. “My parents are out on some fundraiser across town. I’ll be alone all night.”

“Hey, that makes two of us,” Alex grinned. “I think my Mom might be at the same event. And June’s with Evan for the night. You don’t want to come over, by any chance?”

“Me?” Henry asked, taken aback.

“No, actually, I was talking to that woman down the street - of course, you!” Alex rolled his eyes, laughing. “We could have some takeaway and watch movies if you want. I’m probably going to be insomniac so I might as well have some company.”

“Oh… Sure,” Henry blinked, feeling a bit like a deer caught in the headlights of a very speedy lorry. Spending the night at Alex’s house? That sounded like a disaster to happen. But he couldn’t very well tell Alex that: “You know, I think this is a bad idea because I’m actually pretty gay and high-key falling for you and playing sleepover sounds both like a wet dream and a masochistic nightmare at the same time.”

Yeah, that wasn’t an option. So he just smiled and pulled out his mobile. “I’ll just text my Mum and tell her I’ll be spending the night with you, then.”

“Sweet!” Alex grinned, looking extremely pleased. He emptied his bottle and sat up, his fingers tapping a restless rhythm onto his knee as he waited for Henry to type his message. “You ready to move on?”

“Bees in your bonnet?” Henry asked, cracking a smile.

Alex rolled his eyes and got to his feet. “Come on, then,” he said. “I want to get to the Texas State History Museum before it closes.”

“You really are surprisingly chipper for someone who never sleeps,” Henry commented, getting up and pocketing his mobile.

“It comes and goes, to be honest,” he shrugs. They made their way back to the Jeep, and Alex added, a little tentatively: “I warned you, I can be a lot.”

Henry looked at him, surprised to find Alex’s eyes already on him. His expression was defiant rather than vulnerable - a challenge. _This is who I am. Can you handle it?_ It made Henry smile.

He really never stood a chance with this one.

“I wouldn’t have you any other way,” he answered, quite earnestly.

Alex smirked. “You shouldn’t have said that,” he teased. “You’ll never shut me up now.”

“I’ll take my chances,” Henry shrugged, and Alex laughed.

***

“Ooookay!” Alex called as he shouldered the door to their empty house open, a plastic bag of takeaway tacos in hand. “I can’t even explain in how many ways you’re _wrong!”_

“How can I be wrong about my personal favourite?!” Henry demanded, stepping through the doorway after him. “It’s a subjective choice, Alex!”

“It’s the _wrong_ choice!” Alex shook his head. “That’s it, we’re doing a Star Wars marathon tonight! We have to make you see sense!”

“I’m not going to change my opinion because of you -”

“‘Empire’ is a masterpiece, Henry! Don’t you at me!” 

They continued their high-spirited banter as they kicked off their shoes and Alex led him into the house. Henry looked around as they went, spying a couple of photos that showed Alex and June as children. He noted, absentmindedly, that there were no photos of the whole family around. 

Alex ducked into the kitchen to get them some plates before leading him upstairs into his room. The first thing that jumped to Henry’s mind was the disorganisation: books and coursework were strewn all over the place, and Alex had to push the plates and the bag of food into Henry’s hand at first so he could collect the things that were spread over his bed.

“Sorry,” Alex grinned. “Might have worked on our project last night.”

“I see,” Henry smiled. He kept looking around, his eyes skimming the Lacrosse trophies and the TV set in the corner. They finally fell onto a couple of photos Alex had pinned to the wall. He easily recognised Nora and June, and, to his surprise, Liam Hill from their class. He hadn’t realised that he and Alex had ever hung out. And finally, he also found the family photos that had been missing in the other rooms of the house. Henry’s eyes lingered on the face of Alex’s father for a long moment until Alex spoke up.

“Alright, we can just sit on the bed, I do that all the time. Just try not to get food all over my sheets, okay?”

Henry blinked and nodded, following Alex’s lead and climbing onto the now coursework-free bed. Alex took the plates from him and put them down on the bed while Henry unpacked their food and placed it on them. Then, Alex got up and looked for his Star Wars DVD box. 

Finally, they got the movie running and settled down with their food, and Henry quickly realised that watching a movie with Alex was as much of a rollercoaster ride as anything else: The running commentary he had going for practically every detail had Henry either in stitches or launched them into a new discussion at every corner, to the point where he was glad that he knew the movies so well because he was surely missing half of them at the least. 

It was only when the first movie was over and they had launched into the second, plates on the floor and their bodies under the covers that Alex slowly started to quiet down. His remarks became more infrequent and monosyllabic until they seized completely and when Henry looked over at him, he realised that the other boy had fallen asleep. He smiled, watching him for a long moment.

Alex was such a bundle of energy under normal circumstances, but seeing him sleep peacefully like this gave Henry an oddly tender feeling. He bit his lip, berating himself as he carefully rose to switch off the TV and DVD player and the last of the lights before climbing back into bed. Alex did not wake, much to his relief, and with a last lingering glance of his face in the moonlight, he closed his eyes, too, trying to get comfortable.

***

When Henry woke the next morning, the sun shining into his face, Alex was still asleep next to him, not having moved an inch. Henry couldn’t help but smile. Good. He needed to catch up on all the sleep he had missed in the last week, after all. 

His thought process was interrupted by soft noises coming from downstairs. He frowned, carefully turning to pick his mobile up from the nightstand. It was past nine. With another glance sideways to Alex, making sure he was still asleep, he settled himself more comfortably on his back and checked his messages. There were a few links to youtube videos from Pez but he ignored them in favour of reading Bea’s message.

_‘H! Don’t forget to call me today! I’m dying to talk to you! xxx’_

_‘Will call you as soon as I get home later,’_ he answered, and the moment he hit sent, a bubble popped up, indicating that she answering.

_‘Where are you? Pez’s?’_

Henry hesitated, knowing what she’d say if he told her the truth. But he knew there was no logical reason for him not to call right away if he were at Pez’s house, so he had no choice.

_‘No, I’m with Alex.’_

There was a pause. Then, there was a long interval in which Henry was forced to stare at the speech bubble appearing and disappearing. He had a feeling Bea was choosing her words carefully this time, deleting and editing her message again and again before settling on something appropriate to send.

_‘I see. I want to hear about that when we talk later, Henry.’_

Henry breathed out slowly. He had to give her credit. She was holding back.

 _‘I feared as much,’_ he replied. Then: _‘Talk to you later. Go study. Act like an actual student, for once.’_

_‘Nice. I love you, too.’_

Henry sent back a couple of choice emojis and closed the conversation. He startled a little when Alex shifted at his side, letting out a soft, sleepy sound. He lowered his mobile to face him.

Alex was slowly blinking his eyes open, frowning against the bright sunlight. “I fell asleep,” he muttered, sounding deeply confused.

“You did,” Henry confirmed.

“When?” Alex asked.

“Around midnight?” Henry guessed. “Halfway through the second movie.”

“And what time is it now?” he asked, staring at him oddly.

“Past nine.”

“You mean to say,” Alex asked, voice coloured with disbelief, “that I slept for nine hours?” 

“Looks like you needed it,” Henry shrugged.

“No, you don’t understand,” Alex shook his head. “I don’t sleep for that long. I haven’t slept through a night since my parents split.”

“Oh,” Henry said, biting his lip. “Well, you did tonight.”

Alex blinked, looking completely stomped. Then, he laughed and rolled onto his back, staring up at the ceiling. “Can you, like, stay over every night?” he asked.

“I’m sure it wasn’t my influence,” Henry chuckled. “You were just tired.”

“I’m _always_ tired,” Alex scoffed, before stretching gingerly. “Gosh. I forgot what that felt like!”

Henry watched him with a soft smile as Alex ran his fingers through his sleep-mussed curls before sitting up with a sudden burst of energy. “Shall we go and see if there’s any breakfast?” he asked, turning to Henry. 

“Sure,” Henry nodded. “But do you mind if I nip to the bathroom for a moment?”

“Of course not,” Alex nodded, pulling the covers back and getting to his feet. “It’s just down the hall. I’ll wait downstairs, okay?”

“Great,” Henry smiled, also getting up and following Alex out of the door. He let Alex direct him towards the bathroom and relieved himself before checking his reflection in the mirror. His hair was slightly flattened from the pillow, and he ran his hair through it in an attempt to fix it. He was wearing the same T-Shirt he’d been wearing last night as well as loose-fitting trunks Alex had borrowed him for the night. He felt slightly self-conscious for a moment but tried to shrug it off. Finally, he stepped back out and made his way downstairs, finding the kitchen by memory.

Alex was loudly chatting with his mother, putting out plates for Henry and himself. 

“Henry, do you drink coffee?” Alex called over his shoulder as he entered the kitchen.

“I prefer tea if you have some,” Henry answered, glancing around the room. Ellen Claremont and what he supposed was her new partner, Leo, were seated across the table, already eating, and both their eyes were already on him as he sent them a nervous smile. “Hello, I’m Henry,” he introduced himself. “Sorry I stayed over unannounced.”

“Oh, don’t you worry,” Ellen shrugged him off with a warm smile in return. “We don’t mind. I was just wondering whose shoes we had in the doorway when we came home last night. I thought Evan was here or Liam might have come over -”

“You know Liam’s not talking to me, Mom,” Alex interrupted her, an edge to his voice.

“Right,” she sighed, but she shrugged it off and smiled at Henry. “Well, it’s nice to meet you, Henry. Are you in Alex’s class?”

“Yes, I just transferred,” he nodded, blinking when Alex elbowed him and bodily shoved him into the nearest seat. He handed him a box with a wild selection of tea, and Henry was relieved to find a stray bag of Earl Grey among the mix. He pulled it out and handed it to Alex, who rolled his eyes but retreated to pour Henry a cup. 

“Where are you from?” Ellen asked him with clear interest. “You sound British.”

“I am,” Henry nodded. “I’m from London, but I’ve lived all over in the last couple of years. We moved here from Paris.”

“Henry’s parents run the Fox-Okonjo Foundation,” Alex threw in, placing Henry’s cup of tea including a pack of milk and some sugar in front of Henry before taking the seat next to him. Henry picked up the milk but ignored the sugar. 

“Oh, you’re the son of Catherine and Arthur Fox?” Ellen asked, her eyes lightening up. “I met them last night, they’re such delightful people!”

“Of course our parents would hit it off,” Alex smirked at him, rolling his eyes. “It’s a small world, after all, Henry.”

“ _You_ look well-rested,” Ellen said suddenly, her eyes narrowing as she looked at her son more closely. “Did you sleep through the night?!”

“Actually, I did,” Alex smiled, reaching out for the plate of pancakes that was placed in the centre of the table. “Henry, know that you’re privileged to experience a whole breakfast spread in this house. When Leo isn’t around, all we get is Muesli or toast.”

“Don’t distract me by calling out my lack of cooking skills, Mister!” Ellen shook her head, pointing her fork at him. “This is _huge!_ I haven’t seen you sleep more than a couple of hours a night since you were fourteen! What is this magic?”

“I know,” Alex shrugged. “I can’t explain it to you, so don’t ask.”

Ellen hummed, her eyes still on Alex as he handed the pancakes over to Henry. 

The conversation flowed comfortably as they ate, ranging from school to their project to politics and weekly schedules, and it allowed Henry a small window into the Claremont household. He could see why Alex was so invested in politics now - sure, his parents occasionally talked about the foundation during meals, but it was usually Philip who engaged them in his rare visits. Henry and Bea tended to tune them out more often than not. Alex, though, was more than just an active part of the discussion; he challenged his mother’s statements, brought in his own thoughts and got worked up to the point where he spilt orange juice all over the table by gesturing too wildly. 

“And this is why we can’t invite anyone over,” Ellen sighed, helping Alex mop up the liquid with tissues. “They’ll all think I raised you to be a ruffian.”

“At least, he’s a ruffian with liberal political views,” Leo threw in with a smile, making Henry laugh. 

It was then that the front door opened and June stepped into the room, blinking as she looked into the round. “Good morning, everyone,” she said. “Hi, Henry. What are you doing here?”

“I had to cure him of his faulty opinions regarding Star Wars,” Alex threw in, grinning at his sister over the shoulder. “So he crashed here.”

“Well, I apologise that my brother kidnapped you,” June grinned, stepping up to steal a piece of freshly-cut orange from the table. 

“I didn’t _kidnap_ him!” Alex spluttered, elbowing her as she leaned into him. 

“Right,” June returned, but she sounded distracted as she scanned Alex’s face. “Did you sleep through the night?”

“Oh my _god!”_ Alex moaned. “You’d think I look like a zombie every day!”

“You sort of do, sugar,” Ellen said, not unkindly.

Alex clicked his tongue. “I look stunning no matter the amount of sleep,” he huffed, sticking out his chin defiantly. “I have brilliant genes. Don’t deny it.”

Ellen laughed and June shook her head. She turned to glance at Henry. “You want me to drive you home?” she offered. 

“I can do that,” Alex huffed. 

“Knowing you, it’ll take at least two hours before you’re ready,” June rolled her eyes, looking back at Henry questioningly.

“Sure,” Henry smiled gratefully. “Let me just slip into the bathroom.”

“There are fresh toothbrushes and towels in the cupboard,” Ellen told him. “Feel free to use whatever you need.”

“Thank you,” Henry nodded and he got up to return upstairs, snatch his own trousers, brush his teeth and freshen himself up. When he returned, June was stealing a sip from Alex’s coffee. She perked up when she noticed him. 

“Okay, let’s go,” she smiled.

“Right,” he nodded. “Thanks for having me.”

“Anytime,” Ellen smiled. 

“See you tomorrow,” Alex grinned, waving at him. “Let’s do this again sometime!”

“Definitely,” Henry promised, his chest feeling a bit tight at the way Alex smile widened at his response.

He could feel June’s eyes on him on the way to the car, but he refused to look up, afraid to give himself away. He startled a bit when she muttered, quite unexpectedly: “Thank you, Henry.”

“What for?” he asked, looking up at her as he opened the car door on his side. 

June didn’t answer right away, getting into the Jeep and buckling herself up. Henry copied her hesitantly, and only when June had put the keys into the ignition did she turn to meet his eyes. 

“This might not seem like a huge thing to you, but for Alex… I can’t remember the last time he slept through a whole night. It was definitely before the divorce, and even long before that, I think. He’s just…” she sighed, choosing her words carefully. “He’s got this permanent restlessness to him. He’s always had it. As a kid, it took ages to put him to sleep. But when he’s upset, it becomes worse. He becomes more fidgety, and he tends to look for ways to channel his energy somehow. In the last couple of years, it’s gone mostly into school, as far as I can tell. But he’s been sleeping horribly. I don’t know what you did to actually make him shut down and sleep but I want to kiss you and ask you to move in.”

Henry flushed, looking anywhere but at June. “Honestly, I didn’t do anything,” he muttered. “We just had a nice day out, and then we watched a couple of movies. Eventually, he drifted off, and I let him sleep. That was all it was.”

“Yeah, well, that’s probably already a lot, to be honest,” June smiled. “Don’t tell him I said this, but he’s only had me and Nora for much too long.”

“Right,” Henry frowned. “I gathered he used to be friends with Liam from our class? What happened there? I didn’t want to ask, but…”

“Honestly?” June returned, sounding sad. “None of us really know. Alex doesn’t, either. He just stopped talking to Alex towards the end of last year. Alex was a mess back then - Dad had just moved out and he’d started dating Nora -”

“Excuse me?” Henry asked, his stomach dropping.

“Yeah,” she snorted. “That was an ill-advised move if I ever saw one. It was crash and burn. They both knew it wasn’t meant to last, I think. But Alex was upset and I think he wanted to feel something that wasn’t pain and anger, and Nora is generally pretty chill about dating and was curious. It was a hot mess, though. They were not well-matched, and they quickly realised that. No harm done to their friendship, though.”

“I see,” Henry nodded, unsure how to feel about the information June had just unfolded before him. “So, how does Liam fit into this?”

“Well, somewhere in the midst of it, Liam just… pulled away,” June said, frowning. “Alex didn’t understand it at all. He was confused, at first, and then furious, but mainly, I think he’s hurt. His best friend disappeared when he needed him the most.”

Henry nodded, processing this. June looked at him for a long moment. “Please, don’t disappear on him?” she pleaded. “Alex is… he’s very extroverted, but he doesn’t let people in easily. He’s letting you in. Just make sure you stay around, okay?”

“I will,” Henry promised. “I don’t plan on going anywhere.”

June smiled at that, and finally, she started the car. “Alright,” she said. “Let’s get you home.”

The rest of the ride home, June hummed to the music on the radio, and Henry wondered what he’d gotten himself into and how in God’s name he was going to handle it.

***

"There you are," Bea greeted him as soon as the call connected. "I wondered if you were ever going to call!"

"Sorry," Henry sighed. "I just got home."

"I see," she nodded. She scanned his face on the screen for a long moment, then she asked: "Henry, what's wrong?"

For a moment, he considered lying, but then, he decided that he didn't have the energy. 

"I'm falling for him," he breathed. "I'm falling for him harder than I've ever fallen for anyone, Bea."

"Harder than for Reia during our time in Sydney?" Bea asked. 

"It doesn't even _compare,"_ Henry groaned. "Reia was just a guy in my class that I thought was cute. Alex is becoming my _friend!_ He's confiding in me! I slept at his house, I met his family!"

"Okay," Bea nodded. "I see your point."

"He's just -" Henry took a shaky breath, trying to put his thoughts into words. "He's so _bright_ , you know? He's smart, funny, passionate, open-minded, kind... There are so many layers to him that I don't know what to do with myself when I'm around him."

"Sounds like you've got it bad," Bea smiled. 

"What am I going to do?" Henry sighed. 

"Maybe, he likes you back," Bea returned softly, and Henry groaned.

"Will you stop saying that?!" he demanded. "He's straight! I know for a fact that he dated one of his friends last year!"

"Past tense, I see. And even if he likes girls, that doesn't mean he can't be into boys, too."

"You're impossible," Henry sighed.

"I know it seems that way right now, Hen," Bea said softly. "But you're not the only queer teenager out there on this planet. You will meet others. And who's to say that Alex isn't one of them? Who's to say he's not just as scared to let you know as you are?"

"Because that's not who Alex is," Henry shook his head. "Nora is bi, and no one cares. Believe me, Alex wouldn't make a big deal out of his sexuality. I have a feeling about this."

"Oh? The last time we spoke, you were all about his mother running for Presidency, if I remember correctly." Henry fell silent, caught out. "Just, don't give up before you even tried, Henry," Bea whispered. "He sounds like a great guy. Maybe this could be something good."

"We're friends, Bea," Henry muttered. "I can't risk that."

"Maybe, you could be more," she smiled. "Just think about it, okay?"

Henry sighed, but nodded, just so she would give it a rest. She smiled sadly at him, as if she knew he was lying. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, my dear readers! Here I am, already back with the next chapter, this time from Alex's POV.
> 
> As I'm slowly starting off work again next week, I'm afraid updates will become less frequent from now on. Believe me, this hurts me as much as you, if not more. I've become slightly addicted to this story. Anyway, can't promise when the next update will be, but I hope it will be soon.
> 
> PS: Please excuse my rusty Spanish. I studied for 7 years, but it's been 10 since I regularly spoke, so that leaves me with some holes. I am trying my best, though.

Over the next couple of weeks, Henry quickly became a permanent fixture in Alex's life. They became inseparable at school, partnering up for most activities and justifying it with the simple reason that they always sat next to each other when Pez teased them about it, but really, it was because Henry was just the most fun to work with. Henry was smart, smart enough to keep up with Alex, and their combined knowledge was wide enough to make working together incredibly interesting, much more so than with anyone else in class. Alex didn’t have to carry the project whenever he was with Henry, and he appreciated that a lot.

Their political science presentation was a big success and was soon followed by many other shared As, to the point where teachers soon joked that the two of them would be competing for top of the year in no time.

“You’ll lose,” Alex smirked at him. “Just so you know.”

“I have no doubts about that,” Henry laughed. “Even if my clear strength weren’t literature and social studies, resulting in a drop in everything science and maths-related, you’d thrive on the challenge and beat me, anyway.”

“Too right, I would,” Alex grinned. “And I’m _aces_ in everything maths-related. I’ve hung out with Nora enough for that.”

For the most part, though, rather than competing, they worked together. They spent a lot of time after class in the library, to the point where they had a regular table, the one Henry had first caught him asleep on weeks ago, because it was far enough in the corner to not bother anyone when they talked amongst themselves. They had started going to the library for all their shared projects but kept going even when there was nothing to work on, doing homework together or just working side by side. Alex did end up helping Henry out with a lot of his Spanish coursework, and one afternoon, they poured over a translation for Alex’s Latin class together. It felt easy and natural, the way they fit into each other’s lives.

It didn’t stop at school, though. They hung out at the weekend, too, sometimes in groups of any variation of Pez, Nora, June and Evan, but sometimes, it was just the two of them, watching Star Wars up in Alex’s room and bickering over every detail. 

Alex did, curiously enough, always fall asleep at some point throughout those nights, and sleep all the way through, which was why their Star Wars marathon took them weeks and weeks to finish.

He had begun sleeping more in general, though, even when Henry wasn’t around. He might not be sleeping through the night, but he did catch a couple of hours _every_ night, which was at least something. Sometimes, he wondered if June had been right and if he’d just been lonely after Liam had stopped talking to him. Maybe Henry’s presence was filling a void of which he’d denied the existence of until now.

But it was more than that, he thought. The thing about Henry was that they actually talked about things, real things that Liam and Alex had always had trouble addressing. Henry, though, had a way of putting matters into words that struck a chord with Alex, and which made him open up to the other boy in a way that he often didn’t even to June. 

He wondered if it should scare him, this deep connection he had built to Henry after such a short time, but it felt too right to overthink it. 

Sometimes, when Alex couldn’t sleep and Henry was still awake, they’d even text at nighttime, and it would distract him from all the bursts of excessive studying he usually threw himself into at that hour. He was surprised whenever he found Henry awake at 2 AM on a school night, but he did not question it. After all, Henry had told him that he, too, was no stranger to insomnia. 

When fall break rolled around in October, he asked Henry and Pez if they wanted to come along to the lake house with him, June and Nora for a couple of days. 

“Dad is taking us,” he explained. “And there’s plenty of room. I’m not sure if it will be warm enough to swim, exactly, but it’ll still be fun!”

“Are you sure we’re not intruding?” Henry asked before Pez could answer. “I know you haven’t seen your Dad in a while.”

“Oh, it’s fine, don’t worry about that,” Alex waved him off. “Dad’s the one who always encourages us to invite people. Nora is already a given.”

“Let’s go, then!” Pez called, turning to Henry with a shit-eating grin. “Please, H! Don’t be Mr Grumpy-Pants!”

“You’re such a nuisance,” Henry laughed, shaking his head. “Fine, we’re coming!” he gave in, and Alex whooped. 

They all took the Jeep up to Lake LBJ, June in charge of driving, Alex in charge of the music. Their Dad was already waiting for them at the lake house when they arrived, a huge smile on his face as they got out of the car. He had bought the house last year, after he had moved out, wanting to own a place nearby where he could see his kids without them having to fly all the way to California. Alex had been sceptical at first, but he quite liked it out here. He liked swimming or just the easiness of hanging around the lakeside. He loved Austin with all his heart, but everything just seemed a little less loud here.

 _“_ ¡ _Ven aquí, niños míos!_ ” he called out, and Alex and June laughed as they let themselves be enfolded into their father's tight embrace in turn. “It’s good to see you, _mijo_ ,” he grinned at him. “You look good! Are you sleeping more?”

“He is,” June smirked, and Alex rolled his eyes, extricating himself from his Dad to point to Henry and Pez, who were lingering a few steps back with Nora.

“Dad, this is Henry and Pez. They transferred to my class last month. And of course, you remember Nora.”

“How could I forget Nora? Come here, _hermosa!”_ he grinned, pulling Nora into a tight hug in turn before turning to offer warm handshakes to Henry and Pez. “Oscar Diaz. Glad you could make it.”

“Thanks for having us, Sir,” Henry smiled. “I hope we’re not intruding on your family time?”

“Oh, not at all, don’t you worry,” he laughed. “It’s always more fun with a crowded house. And I like to meet Alex’s friends. Where’re you kids from?”

“Where are we not from, is the question,” Pez laughed, and Henry elbowed him.

“Their parents run the Fox-Okonjo Foundation, Dad,” Alex explained. “They move around a lot.”

“Ahh,” he nodded in understanding. “The FO Foundation? We’ve been asking and asking for them to open up a branch in Cali, you know.”

“Oh, please,” Henry sighed, looking pained. “Not in the next two years. They promised we’d get to finish school here.”

Oscar laughed, patting Henry’s shoulder warmly. “Understood,” he nodded. “If I ever meet them, my lips are sealed.”

Oscar then led them into the house, assigning them their rooms - the bunk beds for Henry and Pez, the bigger guest bedroom with the king-size bed for June and Alex, and Nora got to sleep on the giant pull-out sofa in the living room. Then, they were ushered out onto the terrace, where he had prepared some light lunch - cold tapas with salad and lemonade. It was warm enough to still sit comfortably outside, the sun reflecting on the lake water as the conversation flowed easily between them. Alex’s eyes lingered on the smiles of the people surrounding him, and he felt the storm that seemed to be a permanent presence inside his mind slowly start to settle. 

Alex did not really say it out loud, but he missed his Dad a lot. His mother was barely home as it was, and he did not begrudge her that, but it made his Dad’s absence feel like a hole even more gaping than it usually would, he often thought. His father had always been a presence that had filled the whole house - his loud voice, his booming laughter, the scent of his cooking. Now, the house felt strangely empty without him, and Alex still felt that loss. 

He did not blame his parents for the split, of course. In the last years, they hadn't seen eye to eye, and their fights had been a horrible thing to witness, just as much as the cold shoulders they gave each other the days after. The divorce had been the logical consequence and Alex knew that. 

That didn’t mean, though, that he didn’t miss the way things used to be, and that it hadn’t left a hole inside his and June’s lives that their Mom, as hard as she tried, couldn’t just fill. 

This, though - sitting here with his Dad, June and their friends, laughing and eating his cooking - it felt a bit like that hole was being filled. 

He just wished that days like these weren’t more of an exception to the rule.

***

“So,” Oscar said when Alex brought in the last of the plates from outside. “Henry and Pez seem nice.”

“They are,” Alex confirmed, handing the plates to Oscar so he could put them into the dishwasher before leaning against the counter. “I’ve grown quite close to Henry.”

“I can tell,” Oscar smiled. “You have inside jokes.”

“We do?” Alex blinked.

“Yes,” Oscar laughed. “Even June couldn’t follow some of what you were saying. I was watching.”

“Huh,” Alex blinked. “I never noticed.”

“It’s a good thing,” Oscar ensured him. Then, after a moment of silence, he asked: “Have you talked to Liam lately?”

Alex’s face fell and he frowned. “No,” he replied, tone clipped.

“Have you tried?” Oscar asked.

“What’s the point?” he snapped. “He obviously doesn’t want anything to do with me!” Oscar hummed but didn’t comment. “Besides, I have friends!” Alex continued, full-on ranting now. “I have Henry, and I have Nora and I have Pez, too! I don’t need someone who’s been ghosting me for a fucking year now and won’t even tell me why!”

“I agree, it’s not very courteous of him,” Oscar nodded. “But be honest, it still bothers you. You’ve been friends since Elementary School, and sometimes, to set your differences aside, you have to be the bigger person and make the first move.”

“Oh, that’s rich!” Alex called, his temper flaring up. “Especially coming from the person who _fucked off_ _to California_ and now can’t even be in the same room with Mom without it escalating into an episode of The Jerry Springer Show!”

Oscar froze, looking as if he’d been slapped. “Alex,” he said, very carefully.

“No!” he shook his head, straightening up and turning to leave. “I really don’t want to hear it!”

***

When there was a knock on the door, he expected it to be June or his Dad, there to make him apologise. He was relieved, though, to find that it was Henry, hesitant as he lingered in the doorway, clearly not sure whether his presence was welcome.

“Is it okay if I come in?” he asked, and Alex lowered his phone, unfolding himself a bit from the defensive position he had taken. 

“Of course,” he nodded.

Henry smiled and stepped inside, closing the door behind him. He sat on the bed next to Alex, watching him as he locked his phone and threw it onto the mattress. 

“Sorry,” Alex sighed. “I didn’t mean for y'all to witness any family drama while you were here.”

“Don’t you worry about that,” Henry frowned. “Family disasters are a category of natural catastrophes that we cannot control.”

“Right,” Alex nodded, cracking a smile. “Right along with ‘Hurricanes’ and ‘Bad Break-Ups’.”

“Don’t forget ‘Insomniac Nights’,” Henry smiled.

“True,” Henry chuckled. “They’re right at the top.” He sighed, deflating a little. “I shouldn’t have said what I said.”

Henry scanned his profile. “Did you mean it?” he asked, softly. 

“Yes and no?” Alex shrugged.

“Then maybe, it’s good you did,” Henry suggested. “You’re bottling up a lot of feelings. Maybe that’s why you have so much trouble sleeping. Believe me, I speak from experience when I say it’s not good for your health.”

Alex looked at him curiously. “Is that what keeps you up when you can’t sleep?” he asked Henry. “‘Bottled up feelings?” 

Henry looked uncomfortable at the question and it made Alex feel strange. They talked about Alex’s problems all the time, but they never seemed to talk about Henry. Did Henry not trust him? Or was their friendship not as balanced as Alex had thought it was? 

“You know, you can tell me stuff, too,” Alex muttered. “I know I unload my mess onto you all the time, and maybe I shouldn’t, but - you can tell me if something is wrong, too, okay?”

“All right, first, you should never feel bad about telling me what’s going on with you,” Henry said quickly. “I’m glad to listen, and I’m glad to help. And I know I can talk to you, I promise.”

“Okay,” Alex frowned, waiting.

“So, you see,” Henry began, slowly, still hesitant. “There was a time, before we met, when I was really closed off. Even in front of Bea and Pez. It started when I was fourteen and took probably a year, maybe longer. I really scared Bea back then, because we grew up extremely tight-knit and suddenly I refused to tell her a thing. Pez was just… really pissed with me. He told me to come knocking when I grew out of whatever phase I was going through, basically, but I knew that he was secretly watching out to make sure I didn’t do anything stupid. Bea told me they’d write messages about how I would act at school behind my back.” Henry sighed, pulling his knees closer to his body and resting his chin on top of them. He looked so sad that it tugged at Alex’s heart. “I was really depressed at that time and I thought if I told Pez and Bea what was going on with me, they would hate me. So I built walls and I didn’t talk to anyone because that seemed easier, somehow. It was stupid and self-destructive and I snapped out of it eventually. I talked to Bea, and it was cathartic. She made me fix things with Pez, and ever since, I’ve tried my best to keep an open relationship with them. I found it helps.”

He caught Alex’s eyes, and there was an urgency there that caught Alex off-guard. “I’m still not very good at opening myself up,” he confessed. “I get scared and self-conscious, and deep down, I think I’m not good enough. But I found that, if you have a few chosen people you don’t have to hide with, that already is a big weight off your shoulders. It’s helped me sleep at night, and I think it might help you.”

Alex stared at him for a long moment. “I have you,” he said, at last.

“And you’ve slept better since you’ve been talking to me,” Henry smiled. “Maybe you’d sleep even better if you shared some of your thoughts with your family?”

“I can’t,” Alex said immediately.

“Why?” Henry frowned.

“Look at what happened today,” Alex shrugged. “I don’t _want_ to be this person. I need to be someone who’s okay with this whole arrangement, and who isn’t making things harder for my hard-working, emancipated mother who’s going for the presidency soon, for fuck’s sake. I’m not going to be that selfish.”

“Whoever said you’re selfish?” Henry cut in. “These are your feelings, Alex, and they’re valid, even if they are not _convenient_ for your family’s arrangements. You have a right to them, and you shouldn’t have to suppress them.”

“Yeah, well, but that’s my reality,” Alex sighed. “Can you honestly tell me you’ve never held back your own feelings in favour of your family?” 

Henry’s face fell, and he looked guilty. With a sigh, he nodded. “I guess I can’t,” he admitted. “Guilty as charged.”

“Well, there we go,” Alex shrugged, collapsing back against the pillows.

“Just… if you’re not gonna talk to them, know you can always talk to me,” Henry said quietly. “Don’t hold everything in, okay?”

“Alright,” Alex smiled. “Thanks.”

“Nothing to thank for,” Henry shrugged. “That’s what friends are for.”

Alex chuckled and stretched. “I don’t want to go out there,” he sighed.

“Your Dad isn’t angry,” Henry said. “He actually feels bad. I don’t think he’ll make a scene.”

That did make Alex feel a little better about the whole thing. Still, they lingered in the room for a while longer, until the scent of spices filtered into the room, a clear sign that Oscar Diaz was preparing dinner. So finally, Alex dragged himself off the bed and they readied themselves to step out of the safety of the guest bedroom. 

June, Nora and Pez were still out in the garden, the heat lamp on as the temperature was quickly falling, and Oscar was in the kitchen, frying vegetables. Henry smiled at Alex encouragingly as he joined the others outside, leaving Alex and his Dad alone in the house. 

Alex hesitated before he tentatively stepped up to the kitchen. Oscar looked up, smiling at Alex, and it felt like a peace offering.

“I’m sorry,” Alex sighed. 

“Don’t,” Oscar shook his head. “Honestly, I expected this a lot sooner. I know your temper, and you’re a teenager. It was only a matter of time.”

“Still -”

“I had it coming, and I pushed you,” Oscar interrupted him. “Let’s leave it at that.”

“Right,” Alex frowned.

“Alex,” Oscar sighed, putting the pan aside for a moment and looking up at him. “I want to say I’m sorry for what Ellen and I put you and June through, but I know it will sound cheap as a mere response to being called out for it like that, so I won’t. Not like this, at least. But I can apologise for pushing you about Liam when I knew it was a touchy subject. I’m sorry.”

“Apology accepted,” Alex breathed. 

“I’m glad you’ve got Henry now,” Oscar said with a small smile, picking up the pan again and returning his attention to the stove. “He seems like a good sort.”

“He is,” Alex nodded. 

“Well, then,” Oscar said. “Out you go! Relax with your sister and your friends!”

“You don’t want any help?” Alex asked.

“Nah, I’m good,” Oscar smiled. “Enjoy your vacation, _mijo!”_

Alex smiled and nodded before turning and joining the others outside. No one enquired about his long absence as he sat down with them, simply continuing their animated conversation as if he had merely been inside for a refill of his drink, and Alex was grateful for that. 

June sidled up next to him after a while, whispering: “You okay?”

Alex nodded, smiling at her and she smiled back. 

He could tell that she was worried - and he hated worrying her - but that she wouldn’t prod. She’d stopped doing that a while ago, and he knew for a fact that it was down to Nora’s advice. 

“The more you’re pushed, the more you close up and the farther you disappear,” she had once told him, quite casually, throughout their disastrous attempt at a relationship. “It’s simple science, really. It’s best to let you come to us.”

He thought of Henry’s advice with a tight chest. He wondered if he would feel better if he talked to June but quickly pushed the thought away.

He really hated when she worried about him. 

***

“Right,” June said, as soon as their Dad had bid them goodnight. “I know Dad assorted rooms earlier, but I’m reassorting.”

“Oh, rebellion,” Pez grinned. “I am going to like this.” 

June rolled her eyes and announced: “So, I’ll take the couch with Nora, and Henry, you’ll switch into Alex’s room. Pez, you get a whole room for yourself, so you can’t complain.”

“Maybe I’ll feel lonely,” Pez pouted.

“Oh, for God’s sake - come hang out with us until you feel tired, then, we don’t mind,” June rolled her eyes. “All I want is for Alex to room with Henry so he’ll actually sleep.”

“Right,” Pez smirked at Henry, who seemed very embarrassed at the whole spectacle. “I forgot that you’re the Alex-whisperer, mate. My bad. Wouldn’t want to stand in the way of that.”

“Oh my god,” Henry moaned. 

“You know,” Alex spoke up, eyes narrowed at June. “I do sleep without Henry in the room.”

“Maybe,” Nora allowed. “But on days after he slept over, you look 100% more refreshed. Don’t fight the stats, Alex.”

Alex pursed his lips but didn’t argue. 

“Fine, now that this is settled,” June muttered, getting to her feet. “I call tips on the bathroom.”

And so Henry ended up in bed with Alex about an hour later, and as Alex stretched out and got comfortable, he wondered when this had become so familiar - the sensation of Henry’s warm body and his distinct scent (expensive cologne and earl grey) across the mattress, close enough to reach out. He felt himself relax into the knowledge of the presence, closing his eyes.

“Do you really sleep that much better?” Henry asked hesitantly. “When I’m around, I mean.”

“Strangely enough, I do,” Alex admitted. “I can’t explain it to you, though, so don’t ask me to.” Henry hummed but didn’t say anything else. Alex opened his eyes, glancing over at him. “Does it bother you?” he asked.

Henry blinked, surprised. “No,” he shook his head. “Why should it?”

Alex smiled, relieved, letting his eyes fall shut again. “Dunno,” he muttered. “The others can be a pain in the ass.”

“I’m used to Pez being a pain,” Henry chuckled. “It never bothered me, believe me.”

“Well, good,” Alex sighed, yawning. “Or else I’d have to get rid of them and find us new friends.”

Henry laughed, and Alex felt himself relaxing more and more. This was why he slept better with Henry, he reflected. His thoughts didn’t run wild. 

“You want to sleep?” Henry asked. 

“Not quite yet,” Alex muttered. If they stopped talking now, his thoughts might wander, and it would all be for nothing. “Tell me something about your past. About the other places you lived in before Texas.”

Henry hummed before launching into a tale about his most recent school in Paris, then further down the memory lane, painting a picture of cities, schools and students Henry had coexisted with but never quite connected to. Alex listened, eyes closed as he let the images play in front of his inner eye. 

He drifted off sometime around the sixth school to the pleasant tenor of Henry’s voice. 

***

When he woke up the next morning, the sun was shining into their room and Henry was still fast asleep next to him. He checked the alarm clock on the bedside table - 8:52. Quite pleased with himself, he stretched, relishing in the feeling of being well-rested. 

He startled when he heard the sound of the coffee machine from the kitchen. His addiction triggered, he snuck out of the room only to encounter June pouring herself a cup of freshly-brewed gloriousness. She smiled at him fondly.

“Want some?” she asked.

“Please,” he grinned, and she pulled another cup from the cabinet. 

They sat out on the terrace with their cups, draping a blanket over them and watching the rising sun reflect on the water. 

“You slept well?” she asked casually. 

“I did,” Alex nodded. 

“He really does help you,” she observed. 

“He does,” Alex confirmed. 

“I’m glad,” she smiled. She nudged his shoulder with his. Alex nudged her back, and they sat in silence, watching the lake and for once, understanding each other without words.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, my dearest readers!
> 
> .... Yup, here I am again LOL. So, funny thing, actually: After I finished my work for the day, I checked the clock and told myself that there was enough time to finish the chapter I had started yesterday. So, here we are again. 
> 
> Do not judge me. I know I have a problem when it comes to this story, or at least when it comes to Henry and Alex. 
> 
> Anyway, please enjoy this chapter. Not sure when I'll be able to throw out the next one - it will definitely not be tomorrow, I'm sorry - but knowing me and my current obsession, random bursts of productivity are probable.

“Honestly,” Henry sighed, looking himself over in the mirror. “I’ve managed to live seventeen years without attending a single Halloween party, until I met you.”

“You have missed out on life, man!” Alex insisted, adjusting the belt of his Han Solo costume. “Besides, we’ll be the smartest looking rebel leaders out there tonight!” 

Henry shook his head, fussing with his own Luke Skywalker costume. As much as he liked the character, he was not one for dress-ups. He wanted to know where Alex even got these attires, but then again, this was America. They probably sold these at every corner come Halloween. Not that he’d checked. He’d lived under the happy illusion that he’d get around wearing anything until two days ago when Alex gleefully burst his bubble. 

At least, he knew he wouldn’t be the only one making a fool of himself tonight. Pez was already buzzing around the house, dressed as the Mad Hatter, and the girls were currently getting ready in June’s room. They’d all head over to a Halloween party someone in June and Nora’s year was throwing later, which was, Alex had insisted, something Henry had to add to his list of experiences as a regular student at an American high school. 

“Really,” he’d huffed. “How can you expect to get through teenage life without getting illegally drunk at one wild party or another? It’s a rite of passage!”

“I’ll have you know that I was legally allowed to drink beer and wine in Paris,” Henry informed him, just because. “There was no need for sneaking around.”

“That kills all the fun!” Alex had complained, and well, it appeared that Henry was simply incapable of denying Alex anything because here he was, against his better judgement. 

If his grandmother knew, she would vote for his prompt disinheritance. 

“You’re ready?” Pez poked his head in, his bright red wig standing out noticeably against his dark skin. “The girls are waiting downstairs, commanders.”

“Don’t try to speak Star Wars, Pez,” Henry sighed, looking pained. “It won’t end well.” Alex laughed.

Nora was sporting a personalised Pokemon trainer outfit, complete with Pokeball and Pokemon plushies dangling off her bag. He noted that various pins were stuck to her vest, and one of them bore the bisexual pride flag. 

June, on the other hand, was wearing a Georgian Era get up, her curly dark hair pulled up and car keys dangling from her fingers. 

“Who are you supposed to be?” Alex asked, frowning at her. 

“Elizabeth Bennet, you oaf,” she snapped. “My Mr Darcy is waiting at the party. Now, if you’d please stop making stupid comments and get into the car, Solo!”

“Good God,” Alex rolled his eyes, walking past her for the door. “Nora, an angry Bug has been sighted. Try to catch her!”

Nora grinned and June threw a very unladylike gesture at his back. 

The party was at a house in West Lake Hills, the richest neighbourhood in Austin. Alex gave him a lecture about all the entitled rich white people living there as they passed luxurious home after home.

“Alejandro,” Nora complained, looking back at Alex from the passenger seat. “Can we have one night where we don’t talk about Republican jackasses and just have fun?”

“I’m not sure I’m physically capable of not complaining about them, especially if I’m in their territory,” Alex sighed, huffing. “But I can try.”

“Plus, the area is becoming more diverse,” June pointed out cheerfully. “Joey’s family is Korean.”

“True, that,” Alex nodded, seeming considerably happier at the reminder that bridges were already being torn down as they spoke. Henry couldn’t help but smile. Alex’s idealism was remarkable.

The party was already in full run when they arrived. Cars were parked all over the long driveway, and June found a free spot before cutting the engine and letting them step out to approach the house as well. 

Henry didn’t know how to describe it other than ‘a lot’. There were so many people, and the music was deafening and not quite what he was used to, the house was enormous and everyone was running around in colourful costumes they had put various degrees of care into - from whole, DIY masterpieces to simply putting a plastic strip with bunny ears attached into their hair and wearing appallingly few garments. Henry cheered up when he saw a couple of students dressed in Hogwarts uniforms, though. Those were his people.

They soon found Evan, hanging with a bunch of people from the Basketball team. Because Liam was amongst them, though, Alex soon linked his arm through his and pulled Henry away, off to find drinks. He mouthed his apologies to Pez, who just smirked and waved him off. Henry thought he saw Liam watching them, but he couldn’t be sure. 

“Right,” Alex said, handing him a paper cup of the punch that was being handed out. Henry didn’t like the look of it. It was green. “So, what do you think?”

“Enlighten me?” Henry called over the music. “What has all this to do with Halloween?”

“We’re in costumes, aren’t we?” Alex grinned.

“Yes,” Henry agreed. “But isn’t Halloween supposed to be - you know, all scary and spiders and zombies?”

“As kids, maybe,” Alex shrugged. “Oh, but there are Haunted Houses and these sort of things if you’re into that! We can do that next year, those are fun!”

“Right,” Henry frowned, looking at Alex doubtfully. 

“Oh, come on!” Alex laughed, drowning half of his drink in one go. “This is great!” 

Henry sighed and copied him. He made a face. “What is this ghastly brew?!” he asked.

“Not sure, not asking,” Alex grinned. “Sometimes, it’s better not to know, my stuck-up friend.”

“You’re all insane. If the police bring me home tonight, I’m going to name you as my bad influence.”

“Yes, babe! Please do!” Alex threw him a cheeky smirk, and Henry melted a little. 

Bloody _hell._

“Right,” Alex said, throwing back the rest of his drink. “Let’s dance!”

“Oh no,” Henry shook his head. “No way.”

“Come on, Henry!” Alex called. “You have to dance! It’s no party if you don’t!”

“My ballroom classes didn’t cover this sort of - _this_ ,” Henry sputtered, gesturing to the mass of teenagers writhing against each other on the dancefloor.

“Oh my god, you’re adorable,” Alex laughed, taking his drink from his hands and putting it aside to lead him right into their midst. “You don’t need any classes for this!” he shouted. “It’s all in the hips! See?” 

And then, Alex started moving to the music, and Henry thought he was going to die. 

What in God’s name had he done to deserve this? He was a good person. He was always doing his homework. He didn’t break the law. He tried to make no trouble for others. So why did the world have to send Alex Claremont-Diaz into his life to torture him? It was a really unproportionally cruel punishment for whatever tiny sins he had committed. 

“Come on!” Alex called, when Henry just stared at him, frozen, and then, he was reaching out for him, pulling him closer to get him to move with him. 

Oh _god._

Henry was terribly stiff as he tried to find a rhythm, and his eyes were fixed on Alex, the way his body moved, the way his cheeks dimpled when he smiled and his eyes shone in the dim light. Henry felt hot all over, and he seemed to be hit with tiny sparks of static wherever Alex touched him. 

“You’re terrible at this,” Alex mocked. 

Oh, he had no doubt he was. But he had other worries right now. Like, the fact that he wanted to kiss Alex so bad it hurt. His lips looked so soft and warm and -

He needed to stop this. Right now. 

“I need to go to the loo,” Henry blurted out. 

“Oh,” Alex froze, blinking. “Sure. I’ll be here.”

Henry nodded and fled. It took him a few attempts to find the downstairs bathroom, and it was occupied when he arrived, but then, a clearly drunk girl dressed as a witch stumbled out, smiling at him. He paid her no mind, pushing into the room and locking the door behind her. 

He took a deep breath, looking at himself in the mirror. He was flushed and wide-eyed, and he let the cold water run to splash himself in the face. 

“Calm down,” he whispered to himself. “This is a party. You’re just having fun.”

It came crashing down on him, quite suddenly, why he didn’t do these kinds of things. Alex could call it ‘normal high school experience’ all he wanted, but Henry wasn’t _normal._ He didn’t experience things the way other teenagers did. He didn’t get to dance with a classmate he liked at a party and just kiss them. He got to wear goofy pair costumes, but they weren’t _couple_ costumes like June and Evan’s Elizabeth Bennet and Mr Darcy. He always got a taste, but never the real deal, so what was the point of it all?

With a sigh, he tried to compose himself. No good in moping about it now. It wasn’t Alex’s fault, after all. Alex didn’t know, and as long as he wasn’t honest with him, he couldn’t blame him. 

He took a deep, steadying breath and unlocked the door once more, stepping out. He had not expected to find himself face to face with Liam, looking quite ridiculous in his - probably ironically meant - cowboy costume, scanning Henry's face with narrowed eyes. 

“He’s straight,” Liam blurted out before Henry could say anything. He could hear a slight lull in Liam’s speech - he must have already had quite some drinks. “Alex. So you can just stop that shit right there.”

Henry stared at him, absolutely horrified. “What?” he asked.

“I can see the way you look at him,” Liam snapped. “And you might just drop it now before you get your heart broken. It’s no use. He’s straight.”

“You think I don’t know that?” Henry hissed, defensive now. 

“Do you?” he scoffed. 

“Of course I do!” Henry shook his head, incredulous as he gaped at him. “So is _this_ why you won’t talk to Alex anymore?!”

“He’s as oblivious as it can get, you know,” Liam huffed. “He won’t realise until you push his nose into it. So really, I’m doing you a favour here. You’ll only end up getting hurt.”

“Oh, you mean like you hurt Alex when you abandoned him the moment he needed you the most?” Henry challenged.

Liam’s face fell a little at that, and he stared at Henry. Henry just glared at him. 

“You know what,” Henry muttered, angry now. “I don’t need your advice. Thank you very much.”

And with that, he turned his back on Liam and left him standing in the hallway. 

He found Alex nursing his second drink. “Hey,” he smiled at Henry. “Everything okay?”

“Sure,” Henry lied, trying his best to hide everything that had happened in the last hour. It made him feel guilty as hell. He hated lying to Alex.

Alex watched him, as if he wasn’t sure whether or not to believe him. “You wanna go?” he asked quietly. “We don’t need to stay if you don’t like it. We can go watch a scary movie or hit the Haunted House or do literally anything else.”

Henry caught his eyes, seeing the earnest look in those brown orbs he loved so much and deflated a little. “Am I that obvious?” he sighed.

“A bit,” Alex grinned. “You won’t move to LA to become an actor, that much is for sure.”

“Sorry,” Henry sighed. “It’s just not… my thing.”

“Don’t be,” Henry shrugged. “We don’t need to be here. There are other things to do. Let me call a Uber and tell Jun we’re leaving?” 

“Thanks, Alex,” Henry smiled.

Alex smiled back and pulled out his mobile. Henry looked up and saw Liam watching them across the room. The knowledge of why Liam had pulled away from Alex made Henry feel both uncomfortable and strangely protective of him. 

Alex was a good friend, and he deserved more consideration than this, he decided. He would make sure to remember that, no matter what happened.

***

In November, Alex’s team had their first tournament of the new school year, and Alex was more than a little hyped about being able to play again. Naturally, he invited Henry and Pez to watch, which didn’t surprise Henry in the slighted - Alex bloomed under this kind of attention, and if he was quite honest with himself, he was awfully curious to see Alex on the field, even though he knew absolutely nothing about Lacrosse. 

“There’s a mallet and a goal,” Pez grinned. “Sounds much like Polo to me, and your Grandma made you play that when you were younger, didn’t she?”

“Don’t let Alex hear you call the sticks a ‘mallet’,” Nora grinned. “He might drown y'all in the team’s ice bucket.”

“In fact, it’s probably best if we not talk,” Henry advised. “I feel like every ignorant word we say might be used against us.”

“You know, I think he’s just happy that you’re here, really,” June smiled. “Mom’s always too busy to show up, and Dad’s too far away, so it’s me and Nora, usually. It’s nice for him to have more people as moral support.”

Henry smiled and Pez whooped. “So how does this work?” he asked. “Can we be really embarrassing and yell his name on top of our lungs from every corner of the stands?”

“That’s the idea,” Nora nodded. “I’ll buy you a drink if you can throw him off his game.”

“Cheers,” Pez said happily.

They did not throw Alex off his game, as it turned out - Alex played brilliantly, scoring left and right, easily standing out. 

“He’s good,” June smiled at Henry. “Not good enough to play varsity at university, I think - not that he’d have the motivation for that - but he is definitely one of their better players. I think he might make captain next year, but mainly because of his strong leadership qualities.”

“I can see that,” Henry nodded. 

“He wants to go for student president, too, so he’ll be quite busy,” June shook her head. “But that’s Alex for you. So much fire under his ass.”

“He’s passionate,” Henry shrugged. “I like that about him.”

“It’s a good quality,” June allowed. “Sometimes I do worry he’ll burn out, though.”

Alex’s team won the first match. There were six teams present, and in the first round, they each played games of forty minutes before the winners moved on to the second round. After a quick visit to the changing rooms, Alex joined them up at the stands.

“So,” he asked Henry cheerfully. “Your first US sports event. Any impressions?”

“I don’t think you can call an off-season High School Lacrosse tournament a US sports event,” Nora rolled her eyes. “We should take the two of them to watch some football or something.”

“Hey, don’t ruin my groove!” Alex complained. He turned back to Henry. “Don’t listen to her! She knows nothing.”

“Nora knows more than you on her worst days, mate,” Pez grinned.

“Stop ganging up against me!” Alex called. “I’m talking to my only real friend here! Henry!”

Henry laughed, shaking his head. “It’s very entertaining,” he allowed. “You think you’re going to win?”

“Of course we are!” Alex nodded, chest puffed up. “We’re in good form.”

“Well, that’s good to hear,” Henry grinned. “I’m looking forward to seeing it, then. How many more times are you going to score?”

“At least five times,” Alex promised decisively.

“All right. Then you’ve got your challenge set. If you score less than five goals, you’re buying all of us drinks later.”

“Oh, you’re on, Fox!”

It turned out, though, that it did not come that far. He was pretty sure Alex would have made it - with his three goals, he’d already been halfway there - but then, five minutes to the end of the second match, he was roughly fouled on his way to the goal. 

Henry’s heart stopped for a moment as he saw Alex go down and not get up again. He had his hand wrapped around his right ankle and June was on her feet immediately, nudging them up.

“Let’s go,” she called. 

They lingered at the side of the field as medics were hovering over him, shielding Alex from view. Henry’s fingers clenched into fists, his heart pounding. Finally, they helped Alex rise to his feet, but when they caught a glimpse of his face, it was pale and tight with pain. 

The medics supported him on the way off the field, and the coach immediately called to the bench for a substitute. Meanwhile, Alex was gently sat on an empty bench and the lot of them hurried over to him.

“What is it?” June asked worriedly.

“Might have stretched his ligaments,” one of the medics supplied. “Worst case, they’re torn. He needs to go to the hospital.”

June cursed but Nora was already in action mode. “Are you taking him, or is it okay if we do?” she asked the medics. “We have a car at the ready.”

“If you could take him, it would make it easier for us. We might need our transport at a later point.”

“Right. Can we park somewhere nearby so Alex doesn’t have to go all the way back to the parking lot?”

“Sure, you can drive all the way back over there.”

“Okay, thank you so much,” she turned to the lot of them, all business. “Right, so here’s what we’re going to do. June, you take the car up here. I’ll go and pick up Alex’s things. Henry, you help him out of his pads and stuff so all we have to do is load him in. Any questions?”

“None,” June shook her head, and with a quick glance at her brother, added: “Let’s hurry!”

Nora took off for the team’s dressing room right after, so the only ones that remained were Pez, Henry, Alex and one of the medics. They waited as the man spoke to Alex quietly, pressed an ice pack onto his foot and then, with a nod to them, left them to their own devices.

Only then did Henry approach Alex - hesitantly, at first, sitting next to him.

“Hey,” he muttered. “I’m sorry this happened.”

“Yeah, so am I,” Alex sighed, clearly frustrated. “This will cost me the start of the season, if not more.”

Henry reached out to squeeze his shoulder. Then, he asked: “Are you ready to get out of your gear?”

“No,” Alex sighed. “Let’s do it, anyway.”

Together, they carefully peeled off his knee pads, making sure not to aggravate his ankle. Afterwards, Henry held the ice pack to Alex’s injury as he got rid of the rest of his gear, handing it to Pez. He’d just slipped off the last elbow pad when Nora returned with his bag. 

“Good, I see you’re ready,” she nodded, holding the bag open for Pez to discard all the gear into it. “Now June just needs to - ah, there she is!”

Pez and Henry supported Alex on the short way to the car, and then, they were off to the nearest hospital.

It turned out that Alex’s ligaments were indeed stretched, though luckily, nothing was torn. It meant that his ankle had to be kept still for the next four to six weeks, though. 

“I can forget the start of the season,” he huffed in frustration as he and Henry were sat on his bed hours later, his crutches propped against the wall so Alex could easily reach them. “If not the whole thing, to be honest. I’ll need physical therapy, and then, I’ll be hopelessly out of form - ugh, this is unbelievable!”

“I’m sorry,” Henry sighed, watching him sadly from his position, propped up against the headboard next to him. “It’s not fair. You were so looking forward to playing.”

“Yeah, well, life’s not usually fair, is it?” Alex muttered, his tone bitter. He closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the pillow. Henry watched him silently, his chest aching for him. 

Pez was down with the girls, lingering but decidedly giving them some space. From the way June had looked at him before she had left the room, Henry knew she hoped that he would miraculous make her brother feel better somehow, or at least put him to sleep before he left. Henry, though, was less optimistic about that. He couldn’t recall ever seeing Alex this downtrodden, not even when he’d fought with his Dad at the lake house. 

“You should probably head home,” Alex sighed. “You don’t need to watch my moping.”

“Hey,” Henry frowned, turning to face him, and Alex unwilling opened his eyes to glance up at him. “I like being here, okay? And I’m not leaving you like this.”

“I’m not exactly going to be good company today,” Alex muttered. 

“You don’t need to be,” Henry ensured him, shifting closer and tentatively reaching out to squeeze his arm. “It’s alright to just be upset. I’ll still want to be around you.”

“I don’t know why,” Alex grumbled. “I’m far from pleasant when I’m like this.”

Henry didn’t know what possessed him - it might have been Alex’s melancholy that washed over him and left a strange, tender protectiveness in its wake, breaking down walls Henry had so carefully constructed and desperately tried to keep up every day - but before he could help himself, he’d reached up to brush a stray curl from Alex’s forehead. It made Alex meet his eyes, and their gazes held. 

“I always want to be around you,” Henry breathed. “I don’t care if you’re sad, or angry, or insomniac. I like every version of you.”

And alarm bells were ringing somewhere in Henry’s brain because _my god, what was he doing,_ but Alex was looking at him like he held the secrets of the universe and it felt like an avalanche. Impossible to stop even if he tried. 

He didn’t remember consciously making the decision to move, but then, his lips were pressing against Alex’s. At first, Alex remained unmoving, frozen in shock, and Henry was about to pull away when he felt him return the pressure tentatively. Their lips moved together for a few, precious moments, and Henry felt like he was floating, his heart threatening to burst out of his ribcage -

“Alex!” Ellen Claremont called from the hallway, and Henry jumped back as if stung. The two of them stared at each other, eyes wide, as Alex’s mother came into the room. “Sugar, what did you do?” she asked in sad exasperation.

“I - what?” Alex spluttered, gaping at her in confusion. “Oh, you mean the ankle!”

“What else would I be talking about?” she asked, puzzled. “How many pain meds did you take, sweetie?”

Henry flushed and clumsily got off the bed. “I’ll be off, then,” he announced, his voice forcibly casual. 

“You don’t need to leave,” Alex rushed to say, head whipping around to stare back at him again, but Henry found he couldn’t meet his eyes.

“Right,” Ellen agreed. “I just came to check in on Alex, you don’t need to -”

“It’s fine, I really should be going,” he insisted, a little breathless. “It’s a school night, after all. Pez is surely waiting.”

“Alright, if you’re sure,” Ellen shrugged. “Say hello to Catherine and Arthur for me, will you?”

“I will,” Henry nodded before fleeing the room, forcing himself not to glance back at Alex. 

Pez was still downstairs, watching TV with the girls. He seemed surprised to find Henry out of Alex’s room so soon. “What are you doing here?” he asked.

“Let’s go,” he told him. 

“Why?” he frowned, then, after scanning his face, he added: “Is everything alright?”

“It’s fine,” Henry said quickly. “Let’s just go.”

Henry could feel the girls watching him, but they did not comment. Finally, Pez agreed, and they bade their goodbyes and made their way to the car they had parked out front. 

“Okay,” Pez said, turning to him with shrewd eyes as soon as they had closed the car doors. “Spill. What happened?”

Henry buried his face in his hands. “I kissed him,” he confessed, his tone miserable.

“Fuck yes!” Pez yelled. “Finally!” Then, after a moment, he asked: “Wait, did he reject you?”

“No,” Henry muttered. 

“So he kissed you back?!”

“I’m not sure you can call it that…”

“Hen, if you could try making sense, I’d really appreciate that!”

“His mother came in, okay!” Henry burst out. “There wasn’t much time to gauge his reaction!”

Pez winced. “So she saw?” he asked.

“Well, no,” Henry shook his head. “But she almost did.”

“But that doesn’t sound so bad!” Pez called. “Why are we running again?”

“Because I can’t do this, Pez! I don’t expect you to understand!”

“Henry -”

“Please, for God’s sake, could you for _once_ in your life just shut up and let me be?!” Pez stared at him, looking concerned now. “Please drive,” Henry muttered, not looking at him. “I want to go home.”

Pez nodded, setting his jaw and putting the keys into the ignition.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, my dear readers! After my first, admittedly slow week of work, I'm back with the new chapter. I hope you'll enjoy it despite the serious tone this has taken. So, we've arrived at the point of the story where Alex seriously spirals, and it obviously contains some triggers - please refer to the tags before you proceed. Also, please be aware that while I have personal experience with depression and anxiety, I don't have any with ADHD or Adderall, so please be lenient if there are any inconsistencies. I am trying my best.

Alex felt as if he was walking on very thin ice, and any moment the delicate layer that was keeping him upright would break away and he would drop under and drown in frosty, dark water. 

He hadn’t slept all night. He’d tried to call Henry, but he hadn’t picked up the phone. He hadn’t answered any of his messages, either. He didn’t know what to think or to feel because every shred of rationality inside of him was slowly but surely being consumed by all-encompassing _panic._

He kept telling himself that Henry wouldn’t do what Liam had done. Henry wouldn’t just disappear because Henry had seemed _appalled_ when Alex had told him how Liam had just abandoned him. So Henry wouldn’t do that, not when he’d just grown to depend on him.

Right?

He kept telling himself, and yet, the way Henry had run from his room the previous evening, not looking back, kept flashing in his mind. He went back and to check his phone every other minute or so, staring at his four unanswered messages. 

Sleep was impossible to come by, and not only because his ankle was throbbing like a little shit.

June’s face fell when she saw him hobble down the stairs the next morning. He could only assume that he looked as horrible as he felt. “Would you like to stay home today?” she asked tentatively. “I’m sure Mom would -”

“No, I’m going,” Alex cut her off. He needed to see Henry, and if he wasn’t answering his messages, he would have to confront him at school. 

“Alright,” she sighed, biting her lip. “If you’re sure.”

“I’m sure,” he nodded. He did not touch the breakfast she’d lain out for him, though, sick at the thought of food. Coffee and painkillers would have to be enough to sustain him. 

It took frustratingly long to get out of the house and all the way to class, to the point where he was _just_ in time for the start of the lesson. The teacher did not say anything, though, just eyeing his crutches and waving him over to his seat. 

He made to hobble his way over to his table when he froze in his movements.

Henry’s seat was empty.

“Alex?” Mr Gibbs asked. “Something wrong?”

Alex shook himself. “No,” he lied. “Sorry, I’m fine.”

Nothing was fine, though, for the ice beneath his feet had just received a fresh crack. 

***

“Here,” Pez smiled at him, holding out his hand for Alex’s backpack. “Let me help you with that, you poor cripple.”

Alex just looked at him blearily. “Where is he?” he asked.

Pez’s smile faltered a little. “Sick,” he answered.

“Oh?” Alex challenged, raising his eyebrows. “So you’re saying he’s not skipping school because he’s avoiding me?” 

Pez gulped, and the beat of silence that followed was enough of an answer for Alex. 

“Great,” he breathed, his whole chest hurting with the fresh rejection. “Just perfect.”

“Alex -” Pez began.

“No,” Alex shook his head. “You know what, I don’t want to hear it. I just - I really thought he was different, but apparently, I was wrong.” He slung his backpack over his shoulder and stumbled around his table, eager to get away from Pez.

“Just - wait!” Pez sighed, his face pained. “Where are you going, Alex?”

“None of your business!” he hissed, and it took everything he had in him not to fall over in his haste to get to the door. He knew that some of their lingering classmates were staring - he thought he saw Liam and some of his teammates watching from the corner, which, to be honest, was just perfect irony, if only Alex had been in the mood to appreciate it. 

But now, all he could do was try and keep upright, for the ice had officially broken beneath him and he was sinking. He wanted to scream at the world and at Henry for doing this to him, and at himself for letting him in at all, for _allowing_ any of this to happen. He’d been _fine;_ he’d had Nora and June and he’d been managing and then, Henry had stepped in and slept at his side and fucking _kissed him_ and now, everything was a mess because he was going to disappear again and Alex couldn’t deal with that. 

He found a quiet corner on the stands of the lacrosse field and allowed himself to collapse on a bench, blissfully alone and free from observation. He didn’t want to face anyone right now. June had been right - he should have stayed home. 

He stared out across the empty field for a long time, wondering if anyone would notice if he just took the next bus home when June appeared at his side.

“Hey,” she said softly. “I thought you might be here when you didn’t turn up for lunch.”

Alex didn’t say anything. His brain felt scrambled. 

“Pez told me you were upset with Henry,” she continued. “Want to tell me what happened?”

Alex’s fingers balled into a fist, and his throat felt tight. To his absolute embarrassment, his eyes were tearing up, too. Goddamnit, he didn’t want to be breaking down like this. He hadn’t broken down in front of June since he’d been twelve and they'd listened to their parents fight. That had been way before the divorce, of course. 

“Alex,” she whispered, moving closer and wrapping an arm around his waist. “Just tell me what happened, okay?”

“He’s fucking off, is what’s happening,” Alex ground out, and the first tear slipped past his eyelids, rolling down his cheek. “Just like Liam.”

“I’m sure that’s not true,” June replied, her voice soothing.

“It is,” Alex ensured her, his voice cracking. “He’s been ignoring my calls, my messages, and now, Pez basically confirmed that he’s called in sick to avoid me.”

“Okay,” June said, quite calmly. “There has to be a reason for that. Did you fight?”

“No, I -” Alex began before shutting his mouth again, gulping. In a much quieter voice, he admitted: “He kissed me.”

“Oh,” June whispered, sounding surprised. “Okay. And what did you do?”

“I don’t know!” Alex whined. “I think I kissed him back, but it all happened so fast!”

“Did you like it, Alex?”

He took a moment to consider that. He had been so upset last night, with the injury and what it meant for his school year, but Henry’s presence and his words and his touch had been comforting, soothing, and though he’d known, rationally, that he’d been horrific to be around, he’d _wanted_ Henry to stay, because, with him, he always felt more human. And then, Henry had kissed him, and that had felt - different. Right? Safe? He couldn’t pinpoint it, but his mind has short-circuited and latched onto it, and then, it had been over before it had begun. 

“I think I did,” Alex admitted. “Or I might have, but I can’t really think about it now because all I _can_ think about is that he’s going to go away before I can figure it out.”

“I really don’t think he will, Alex,” June breathed. “He’s probably just scared. He needs some time to think it over and then -”

“He could tell me that!” Alex interrupted her angrily, tears blurring his vision. “I would _give_ him that! But this - this is not fair!”

“No, it’s not,” June agreed, her voice gentle. “And I’m sure he’ll hear a thing or two about it from Pez this afternoon. But we’re all still figuring out life, Alex, and Henry isn’t perfect. He makes mistakes when he gets scared, as the best of us do.”

Alex blinked, trying to make his tears stop, but they wouldn’t. June pulled him into a tight hug, soothing his hair with gentle fingers. 

“I think you should go home for today,” she breathed. “I’ll drive you. Mom will write us notes. You just - really need some rest. I know you haven’t slept again all night. Maybe, after shutting your eyes for a couple of hours, everything will look a bit clearer?”

“I won’t be able to sleep,” Alex muttered. 

“You can still lie down and try,” she shrugged. “You’re not fit for school, anyhow. Come on.”

And with that, she pulled away and took the backpack he’d dropped to the ground, coaxing him up to his feet to make their way to the car. 

She called their mother from the car’s intercom, who agreed to notify the school immediately. “Stay at home as long as you need to, sugar,” she told Alex, who was staring out of the window, watching Austin sped by. “Your injury is excuse enough, and even if not, you deserve a mental health day to regenerate. If you need me, I’m just a call away.”

“Right,” Alex croaked out. “Thanks, Mom.”

June kept throwing him glances from the driver's seat, and it made Alex feel even worse. “You can go back to school after you dropped me off, you know,” he told her. “It’s not like you need to miss classes, too.”

“Oh, I’ll be fine,” June shrugged. “Nora will send me the work and I’ll do it from home. Plus, I’d hate for you to be alone.”

Alex hated himself a little for it, but part of himself was grateful to hear it. The house was always so terribly lonely when it was just him in it. 

***

As predicted, Alex didn’t sleep. He lay in his bed, watching stupid reality TV shows and checking his phone obsessively. It was only when Nora poked her head through the door that his haze was broken. 

“Hey you,” she smiled, watching him from the doorframe. “Are you okay or do we need to fix you?”

Nora’s dry pragmatism startled a laugh out of Alex. “I fear I might be too broken to be fixed,” he muttered.

“Nah, you’re not,” she shook her head, scrunching up her nose. “You’re just experiencing some technical issues.”

Alex smiled at her, and Nora stepped into the room to drop down on the bed next to him. “So,” she said. “What kind of customer service can I provide?”

Alex stared at her for a long moment, considering. He was tired, his head and foot were hurting and he felt so brain-dead that nothing made sense anymore. Maybe Nora’s logic could bring some sense into all of this. 

“How did you know that you were bi?” Alex asked.

“Oh,” Nora asked, raising her eyebrows. “This is what’s happening here. Okay. Well, I guess I just knew?”

“That’s not very helpful,” Alex grumbled. 

“It wasn’t very profound, Alex. I touched a boob and liked it. Simple as that.” She was silent for a long moment, then, she asked: “So, did you touch Henry’s dick, or what is this about?”

“Oh my god, Nora!” Alex groaned.

“Well, I’m just putting two and two together!” she shrugged. “This is obviously about Henry, since he hasn’t been to school today and he’s your gay friend who you’ve been sharing a bed with regularly for the past month.”

Through all of this, Alex’s brain only latched onto one information. “How do you know whether Henry is gay?”

“Call it a queer-dar,” she smiled. “I don’t know, it’s just - the way he looks at you, the way he behaves - you know that’s what I do. Collect data, analyse them.”

“Right,” Alex nodded, gulping. He felt very much like he’d fallen into the rabbit hole. “So, your numbers on me being into dudes?”

She hummed. “Would have answered 78% before this conversation, now, we’re up to 96%.”

Alex closed his eyes. “How is this my life,” he muttered.

“So,” Nora prodded, “did you -”

“He kissed me,” Alex confessed. “And now he’s hiding from me, and I don’t know what it all means and I’m really pissed with him.”

“Pissed that he kissed you, or pissed that he’s hiding?” Nora asked.

“The latter,” Alex confirmed.

“Isn’t that your answer?” Nora suggested. “Honestly, Alex, we dated, and we haven’t been as much of a couple as you and Henry have been for the past couple of weeks. You are good together. I think you know what you want.”

“Do I?” Alex whined. “Because I really think I’m fucking confused.”

“What you are is sleep-deprived,” Nora rolled her eyes. “There is such a thing as pushing your body too far, Alex, and you’re doing it on a regular basis. Do you even realise that even in the warmest weather, you tend to feel cold very quickly? You put it down to your Mexican blood, but it didn’t use to be this bad, Alex, and June surely doesn’t have that problem. You wear jackets at 90+° when everyone around you is sweating in tanks.”

“It’s not that bad,” Alex muttered, automatically.

“It is, Alex,” Nora disagreed. “It’s no wonder that your mind is a fucking circus and that you can’t see straight. If you need to, get some pills and sleep through the night. Maybe then, you’ll be able to think more clearly.”

Alex didn’t answer. Nora sighed and reached out to squeeze his shoulder. “I’ll leave you to it, then,” she said. “See you tomorrow at school?”

“See you,” Alex nodded. 

He was relieved when she shut the door behind herself. 

***

After another sleepless night and June and his mother trying to convince him to stay home, Alex still somehow found himself on the way to class the next morning. He’d tossed and turned without being able to find peace, and he figured that he most probably wouldn’t do so again unless he talked to Henry.

Henry, who still hadn’t answered any of his now seven messages. 

He half expected Henry to be absent today, as well, but as he stepped into the classroom, he found the other boy sitting at his usual table, leafing through his notes as if nothing of importance had ever happened.

The fucker.

Alex’s jaw clenched as he made his way over to his table, his eyes on Henry the entire time. The other boy didn’t look up, though he _knew_ that Henry had taken notice of him. His shoulders were way too tense. 

Oh, that just wouldn’t fly.

“Hi,” Alex said, coming to a hold in between their tables and staring him down.

Henry froze and looked up at him, his expression carefully neutral. Alex wanted to slam his crutch against Henry’s table just to get a reaction. 

“Hello,” Henry said.

“Done playing sick?” Alex asked, not caring to hide his anger. 

“Can we not do this?” Henry asked, sounding pained. 

“Oh, that’s how it is, is it?” Alex snapped, and Henry’s eyes widened. “Honestly, I thought you were different! I trusted you, but you’re just -”

“Alex, please sit down, I would like to start class,” Mr Gibbs interrupted Alex’s tirade, making him clench his mouth shut. 

He jerkily sat down and stared ahead, decidedly not looking at Henry though he could feel the other boys’ eyes on him. He was hurt and angry and tired and confused and he was already regretting turning up to school at all. How did he find himself in this recurring nightmare that somehow kept getting worse and worse?

Maybe he _was_ sleeping. Could he please wake up now?

But then, Mr Gibbs broke through Alex’s thoughts, announcing: “Alright, pop quiz, everyone!”, and Alex groaned, just refraining from slamming his head against the table.

The test sheets were handed out and Alex automatically signed his name before staring at the questions, the words blurring together. He couldn’t concentrate. His mind was a mess and his brain was shot and now he was going to fail his first test in years because of Henry fucking Fox. Fuck his fucking life. 

“Henry,” he heard Mr Gibbs call. “Eyes on your own test, come on!”

And he looked up just in time to see Henry’s head whip around, his face flushed darkly. Alex felt a dark satisfaction at the knowledge that at least, Henry might fail this one, too. 

***

And like this, Alex found himself back to square one. He ate lunch with June and Nora, he spent sleepless nights alone studying - nothing much had changed, really, from the time before he had met Henry, only now, he was decidedly more unhappy than he could ever remember being, and it frustrated him beyond words because _when_ had he thrown himself so into this friendship? Why had he been so careless?

Not to mention that he began to suspect that Nora had been right and that maybe, it hadn’t been a mere friendship at all. Maybe, it had been more than that all along and he just hadn’t realised. It would explain, at least, why he felt so utterly miserable now.

“Alex,” Mr Gibbs called him over one day after class, and from the expression on his face, he knew immediately that it could mean nothing good. “Please, come here for a moment.”

Alex took his time, packing his things and then hobbling up to the teacher’s desk, where Mr Gibbs was already waiting for him. He noticed that some other students were still lingering about, and he desperately wished them gone.

“Alex,” Mr Gibbs said finally. “I got around to checking your test from Monday, and it’s the first time I saw you fail anything. I wanted to ask what happened there.”

Alex sighed, closing his eyes. Of course.

“I’m just - going through some stuff,” Alex answered, a little lamely. “I wasn’t feeling well and the test caught me off guard. Is there any way I can make up the grade?”

“Well, you could do a voluntary presentation, if you really wanted to,” Mr Gibbs frowned. “Is everything okay, though? Do you need help? You know that the school counsellor always has an open door should you feel the need to -”

“I’m fine,” Alex cut in. “Really, I just had an off day.”

“If you’re sure,” Mr Gibbs sighed. “You can choose a topic in relation to the issues we are currently working on and prepare a presentation. I’ll give you two weeks. Would that work for you?”

“Perfect,” Alex nodded. “Thank you, Sir.”

“Anytime,” Mr Gibbs smiled, picking up his bag. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ll enjoy the rest of my lunch break, and so should you.”

Alex nodded, watching him leave, deflating a little as soon as he was out of his teacher's direct scrutiny. On one hand, he was glad to have a project to work on, on the other hand, he’d found it difficult to find the focus to do much of anything. He tried to distract himself with his studies, but every time he sat down to study, his thoughts wandered and he didn’t actually get much done. It was incredibly frustrating.

He turned back to his desk, suddenly not in the mood to meet June and Nora for food. As he did, his eyes met Liam’s, who had apparently been watching his exchange with Mr Gibbs.

It felt like the last straw.

“What?!” he snapped. “Got anything to say?!”

Liam’s eyes widened and he raised his hands in defence. “Nothing,” he said calmly.

“Well, then fuck off!” Alex ground out.

“Wow, you’re in a mood,” Liam observed, getting to his feet. “Maybe you should actually sleep once in a while.”

“You know what?!” Alex called, rounding on him. “You lost your right to an opinion when you stopped fucking talking to me a year ago, so just stuff it!”

Liam’s jaw clenched and he turned away from him, leaving the classroom in quick steps. Alex stared after him, seething.

Then, his eyes fell to Liam’s bag, and with sudden clarity, he remembered that Liam was taking Adderall for his ADHD. They’d talked about it when they'd still been friends, and Alex remembered secretly and irrationally feeling envious of him, wishing he had access to a drug that helped his focus to sharpen.

Alex looked around. The last students were filtering out of the classroom now, leaving him alone.

He looked back at Liam’s bag, and suddenly, his frustration with the world and the longing for something to sharpen his senses overwhelmed him.

He reached out for Liam’s bag, rummaging through it and finding the little package of capsules easily. He hesitated, then opened it and sneaked a couple before replacing the package. 

No one ever needed to know, he told himself.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, my dear readers! Here I am again, writing the weekend away with angsty angst. What can I say? This needed to get out. 
> 
> So, once again, note that none of the medical facts in this chapter are verified beyond asking Uncle Google. I have no personal experience with any of these issues besides anxiety and I have no medical background. I apologise for any inaccuracies. 
> 
> Anyway, once again, please beware of possible triggers in the tags. Other than that, enjoy! (?)

“You!” Pez called, pacing back and forth in front of the bed Henry was sat on, curled in on himself, arms wrapped around his knees in an attempt to make himself as small as humanly possible. He was pointing at the screen of the notebook that was currently propped up on Henry’s pillow, showing a worried Bea. “Talk some sense into your brother, or I swear I will do or say something I’m going to regret!”

Bea bit her lip, scanning Henry’s face. “H,” she began softly. “Have you tried talking to Alex at all?”

“No!” Pez cut in, incensed. “And don’t let him tell you otherwise, he really hasn’t!”

“Every time I make up my mind to approach him I lose my nerve,” Henry admitted miserably. “He’s just… so angry with me.”

“And he’ll continue to be angry if you don’t explain yourself!” Pez groaned. “It’s a simple concept, Henry! You’re the one who can’t seem to grasp it!”

“Pez,” Bea said sharply. “Stop it. This is getting us nowhere.” Pez hissed something under his breath and turned away, relenting. “Henry,” Bea continued, her voice gentling again. “Can you please try to explain to me what exactly happened? I still don’t understand. You kissed, and then you ran. Why? Did Alex reject you?”

“No,” Henry admitted, his voice small.

“Then why did you run?” Bea pleaded. “This sounds like a good thing to me?”

“Because apparently, he can’t allow himself to be happy,” Pez murmured, just loud enough for Henry to hear. 

“I just… panicked,” Henry shrugged, his voice breaking. “His Mum almost caught us and I kept thinking - what about her career? How would his family react? How would _our_ family react? And then, when I was alone again, I kept spiralling and telling myself that maybe, I pushed myself on Alex when he was upset and vulnerable. Maybe he wanted none of it. And then I felt like I didn’t deserve him, and I couldn’t face him, and -”

“Henry, this is the same thing you did back in Sao Paulo… You’re blaming yourself for being who you are and then you’re withdrawing so far back into the closet that you’re pushing the people you love and who love you away,” Bea sighed, shaking her head. “But H, Alex is probably just as freaked as you are, and he’ll also be hurt that you won’t talk to him.”

“I know that,” Henry nodded. “I realised when I went back to school, but then, it was too late.”

“Why was it too late?” Bea asked.

“He called me out in front of the whole class and I just - I _couldn’t_ , I couldn’t deal with that sort of attention, so I shot him down, and he’s been shutting me out since. He won’t even meet my eyes, Bea. He’s made up his mind. To him, I’m just like Liam.”

“Liam?” Pez spoke up again, frowning. “Liam Hill?”

“They used to be friends,” Henry explained. “But Liam pulled away from him because he had unrequited feelings that Alex never knew about.”

“Excuse me?” Bea asked, blinking at him.

“Alex doesn’t know about this part,” Henry sighed. “Liam said some things to me when he was drunk at the Halloween party and I just… put two and two together. But to Alex, Liam just disappeared on him after his parents divorced, and it’s been really rough on him.”

“No shit,” Pez groaned. “And now, he thinks you’re doing the same. Mate, that’s bullshit!”

“I know that,” Henry said miserably. 

“I thought when Alex said he ‘thought you were different’, he’d had some secret history with closeted blokes, but this is worse!” Pez continued. “You need to clear this up!”

“I don’t know how!” Henry called.

 _“Talk to him!”_ Pez hissed. “Honestly, have you looked at the bloke lately?! Put him out of his misery!”

“You think I don’t know that Alex’s been suffering?!” Henry yelled, taking Pez off guard. “You think I don’t know he hasn’t been sleeping? I’ve done nothing but watch the shadows underneath his eyes grow more pronounced, Pez, and I know it’s my bloody fault!”

“But, Hen,” Bea said tentatively. “Then it’s really time for you to do something. You’re both miserable.”

“And mate,” Pez shook his head, sitting down on the bed with him, his expression grave, “you and him, it’s just… you’re _right_ together, okay? I’ve been watching you these past few weeks and I’ve _never_ seen you connect to anyone like that. You don’t do that sort of thing. I mean, I love you and you’re the most loving and giving person I know, but you don’t open yourself up easily. But with him, it was different. And I know it was the same for him because I talked to June and Nora and they told me. June was basically in tears she was so happy. You have something special there. Do you really want to throw that away just because you’re scared?”

Henry just stared at him, unsure what to say.

“He’s right, Hen,” Bea muttered. “This is too important. This could be something _real,_ and I know it’s hard right now but you need to fight for it.”

“I don’t know how to do that,” Henry whispered. 

“It’s Saturday,” Bea smiled. “Take the weekend to figure it out. And on Monday, you try your best.”

***

Alex looked like a ghost of himself when he entered the classroom on Monday: His usually dark skin tone seemed unnaturally pale, his dark curls lifeless and his eyes glassy, red, rimmed and shadowed. Henry took one glance at him and lost every nerve he had to talk to him. 

_He_ did this. _Henry_ made Alex look like this. 

What right did he even have to approach him as if nothing had happened?

Pez and Bea were right, though, and he knew it. If he wanted to fix this, it was up to him. 

And yet…

Like this, Henry kept up his inactivity, bailing whenever he worked himself up to talk to Alex. Pez was furious with him. Alex was looking worse and worse, and Henry just wanted to hide in his room and never come out again.

This was why he’d never been good enough for Alex, he’d decided. He’d always been bound to hurt him, one way or another. 

On Friday, things escalated. Alex had come in looking particularly bad, and additionally, Henry had watched him fumble with his notes for the first period, unusually restless. Then, Mr Gibbs had called him forward for a presentation on the role of the Union during the Civil War, and Henry was taken aback, unsure as to why Alex was even up for a presentation in the first place. They’d not been assigned anything. 

Alex stepped forward, clutching his notes and carefully spreading them onto the teacher’s desk Mr Gibbs had vacated for him, sorting through them. Henry noted Alex’s hands were shaking. He frowned. Alex never got nervous for presentations. He was always extremely sure of the material he presented. 

But today, he halted, staring at his notes, though it seemed as if he wasn’t really seeing them. The class was silent as they waited for him to start but Alex didn’t move. He didn’t even seem to be breathing. 

Then, he drew in a loud, gasping breath, and another quickly after, and Henry took note of the tension in his shoulders and the wide, far-away look in his eyes, and suddenly, he knew what was happening.

He was on his feet and across the classroom without even making the conscious decision to move. Then, he was touching Alex’s trembling shoulder as the other boy heaved in breath after breath, calling: “Alex? Alex, you’re having a panic attack. Breathe with me, okay. In and out.”

He could hear the rest of their classmates talking around them, clearly panicked, too, but Henry couldn’t focus on them. He was only seeing Alex and the way he struggled to breathe, grasped by wild fear. He ran a hand down his back and kept talking to him. Mr Gibbs appeared at his side, pale and worried.  
  
“You should get him out of here,” he muttered. “To the nurse station. Alex, can you hear me? Can you walk?”

Alex, though, didn’t seem to be conscious of their words, and it took a long while for Henry to break through to him enough that he jerked his head to look at him with something akin to recognition. 

“That’s it,” Henry praised, his voice soothing. “I’m going to take you out of here now. Come on, Alex, work with me, okay?”

Alex nodded, twitchily but Henry took it. He was still trembling as over and his breathing was still ragged and all over the place, and he was leaning heavily onto Henry so as to not hurt his ankle, but he let Henry lead him out of the classroom and down the corridor.

The nurse station was not occupied when they arrived, but Henry stirred Alex towards one of the cots and made him sit down. Then, he got him a glass of water, which Alex accepted shakily. Henry kept touching him as he sat down next to him, unable to help himself, feeling the need to soothe Alex in any way he could. He didn’t know the first thing about panic attacks and maybe he was fucking this up but Alex had always reacted well to physical contact. 

“I’m sure the nurse will be here any moment,” Henry told him. 

Alex nodded, gulping. Then, he breathed: “You can go back to class.”

“I’m not leaving you,” Henry shook his head. He reached out to take Alex’s trembling hand, noting how icy and clammy his fingers were, and Alex looked up at him. The expression on his face was clear - there was doubt mixed in with hurt and bone-deep tiredness, and it tore at Henry’s heart. “I know I botched this up,” Henry croaked. “I’ve been wanting to apologise all this time, but I didn’t know how to. But I’m done staying away from you. I’m going to be here now. Is that okay?”

Alex kept staring at him, and much to his relief, he relented with a nod. Henry squeezed his hand. He knew this was far from the end of this but for now, it was a small victory - he was allowed to be around him, to give him solace when he needed it, and that was worth more than Henry could put into words.

The door opened and the school nurse entered the room. He froze as he took note of them. 

“What happened?” he asked, his eyes zeroing in on Alex. 

“He had a panic attack in class,” Henry explained.

“I see,” the young man nodded calmly, grabbing a chair before sitting down in front of Alex and reaching out for his left wrist. He felt his pulse and his forehead, nodding before announcing: “Yes, your pulse is still very quick, and you’re all clammy and out of breath. Have you had attacks like these before?”

“Not recently,” Alex muttered. “And not in public.”

“Okay,” the nurse nodded. “When did you have them? What triggered them?”

“It happened back when my parents split up,” Alex shrugged. “Mostly at night, when I was alone. It was never like this.”

“Did you ever talk to anyone about this?”

“No.”

“Okay. What do you think triggered this attack?”

“I’m not sure,” Alex shrugged, but Henry knew he was lying, and the nurse clearly wasn’t deterred by his refusal to answer. 

“What were you doing in class? Were you called upon to answer?”

“No, I was… supposed to do a presentation.”

“That is a stressful situation, Mr Claremont-Diaz. It can cause anxiety in someone who is susceptible to it.”

“Ehm,” Henry began, making the nurse look at him. “Could lack of sleep be playing into this?”

“Yes,” the nurse nodded. “People who sleep less than the amount of time their body requires them too are at a much higher risk of developing anxiety disorders. Continuous lack of sleep can also make a person manic. When was the last time you slept, Mr Claremont-Diaz?”

Alex wasn’t looking at either of them. Henry’s heart sank. 

“Alex?” Henry whispered. “Did you sleep last night? The night before?”

“No,” Alex admitted, his voice tight.

“When did you last sleep?”

“I think it was Tuesday night.”

Henry stared, speechless. 

“May I ask how you’ve kept yourself awake for so long?” the nurse asked him, his tone decidedly calm and professional. “Coffee or energy drinks aren't likely to do the trick after such a long time.” Alex didn’t answer at first, but after a long pause, the nurse insisted: “Mr Claremont-Diaz, I need to know what you took and whether it was dangerous.”

Alex sighed, closing his eyes. “It was Adderall,” he confessed, at last. 

“Where did you get that? Do you have a prescription?” 

“No. I took it from a classmate.”

“That was very dangerous, I hope you realise that. Overdosing on medication you’re not familiar with can end very badly indeed.” Alex didn’t say anything and Henry felt sick to the stomach. “You do realise that I will need to call your mother?” Alex nodded, still not answering. “Okay then. I will call her now, and I want you to lay down and rest until she arrives. Mr Fox, you can go back to -”

“I’ll stay,” he shook his head. “I’ll stay with Alex.”

“Okay then,” the nurse nodded. “If you’ll excuse me.”

And with that, he disappeared for the office next door, leaving Alex and Henry alone in the room. Henry sighed, reaching out to take Alex’s hand again. He was relieved when Alex didn’t reject the touch. 

“Alex,” Henry whispered, “why would you do this? You know better than this.”

Alex gulped, and it broke Henry’s hard to find tears gathering at Alex’s eyelashes.

“I just - see, I couldn’t sleep?” he admitted, his voice cracking. “And when I can’t sleep, I study. But I couldn’t focus because I was so fucking tired. So I thought this would help.”

“Alex,” Henry breathed, and his own eyes were burning with tears he desperately tried to hold back. “I’m sorry, but for someone so smart, that was incredibly stupid.”

Alex let out a sniffle and the first tear escaped, making Henry throw all caution to the wind and pull him into a tight embrace. Alex melted into it, clinging to Henry’s shirt as he started to cry, fresh trembles shaking his body. 

“My mind just - never shuts up anymore,” he whispered. “I didn’t know what else to do.”

“I’m sorry,” Henry breathed. “This is my fault. A bit of it, at least.”

“It started before I met you,” Alex reminded him. “You make it better. But when you just -”

“I know,” Henry nodded. “I’m sorry. I was wrong. I won’t do that again, I promise. I’m so sorry, Alex.”

Alex sobbed and buried his face in Henry’s shoulder. They stayed like that for a few long minutes - how long, Henry wasn’t sure, but eventually, the bell rang for the break and a bit after, June and Nora burst through the door with Alex’s bag and his crutches. 

“Pez told us what happened,” Nora explained to Henry as he sat on the empty bed on the opposite wall with her, letting June have her turn holding Alex close and soothing him, for now. “I knew he was pushing himself to the breaking point. Something had to happen eventually. I just didn’t think it would be this.”

“You don’t know the half of it,” Henry whispered, and when Nora just looked at him questioningly, he reached out for Alex’s bag. She handed it to him and Henry opened it, rummaging through it, easily finding a little see-through storage bag with a couple of capsules inside. He gave them to Nora, who just stared. June watched the two of them from the other side of the room, her arms around Alex, tears in her eyes. 

“What’s that?” Nora asked.

“Adderall,” Henry said.

“Fuck,” Nora cursed.

“Where the fuck did you get Adderall, Alex?” June demanded, her voice high.

“Liam, I assume,” Nora answered for him. “He has ADHD, remember?”

“Oh my god,” June moaned. “Please tell me you didn’t steal Liam’s meds!”

“June, don’t,” Henry shook his head. “We all agree, what he did was fucking stupid, but giving him a hard time won’t make anything better.”

June bit her lip, desperately blinking back her tears as she nodded. Her arms tightened around Alex, who had refused to resurface through their exchange, his face hidden in his sister’s hair. 

That’s how Ellen Claremont eventually found them. She came in accompanied by the nurse, her face worry-lined and pale. Her eyes swiped over her son and daughter, then Henry and Nora and landed on the pills in Nora’s hand. She reached out for them, a far-away look on her face before handing them to the nurse. 

“Please take those,” she said.

“I’ll make sure they’re returned to the person they belong to,” the nurse promised.

“Liam Hill,” Nora provided. 

“Very well,” he nodded. “I’ll leave you to it, then.” With that, he excused himself to his office once more. 

Ellen, on the other hand, had turned to Alex. Henry half-expected her to shout or get angry with her son for endangering his life like that, but all she did was sit down at Alex’s other side, where June wasn’t located, and touch his shoulder.

“Sugar?” she said softly.

Hesitantly, Alex disentangled himself from June’s embrace to look at her. His face was smeared with tears and he looked so wrecked and vulnerable that all Henry wanted to do was wrap him up somewhere safe and never let him go. 

Ellen reached out cup her son’s cheek tenderly. “It’s okay,” she breathed. “It will all be okay.”

“I’m sorry,” Alex whispered.

“Don’t apologise, sweetie,” she shook her head. “I have to apologise, for being so caught up in my own life that I didn’t even realise that this was happening. But not anymore. I’m going to call your father, and we’re all going to have a good, long talk about what has been happening in the past year. Alright?” Then, she turned to Henry and Nora. “Are you kids free this weekend?” she asked with a soft smile.

“Yes,” Henry said immediately, and Nora, with a small grin, added: “You know I’ll always make time for your lot, Ellen.”

“Good,” she nodded, turning back to Alex. “I think we should all go on a little trip to your father’s lake house. Get out of our own heads, talk things through and, in Alex’s case, have a good rest.”

“But won’t we intrude?” Henry asked, frowning. “This sounds like a family matter.”

“No, you won’t,” Ellen smiled at him. “I think everyone close to Alex should be there. This concerns all of us, and obviously, Oscar and I have missed quite some things lately. I think we’ll benefit from your presence.”

“But Mom,” June frowned, biting her lip. “You and Dad - is that really such a good idea…?”

“If we can’t communicate rationally when it’s about Alex, what kind of parents are we?” she sighed. “No, I really think we should do this. We should have done this a long time ago. Claremont-Diaz crisis retreat at Lake LBJ, this weekend. Any objections?”

“No, ma’am,” Nora saluted. “All clear.”

“Very well,” she nodded, stroking back Alex’s curls. “Then I’ll take my kids home now. Henry, Nora, we’ll pick you up around 4:30?” 

“Sounds good,” Nora nodded, getting to her feet.

“Thank you,” Henry nodded, handing her Alex’s bag.

“Thank _you,_ my dear boy,” she said, quite earnestly. “The nurse told me you brought him here after his attack? Really, thank you.”

Henry shook his head. He really didn’t deserve the praise. After all, he was partly to blame for the whole situation. 

As he returned to the classroom, they still had five more minutes to their lunch break. Apparently, the nurse had been in earlier to talk to Liam. He could see him sitting in a corner, the little storage bag in which Alex had kept the stolen Adderalls in hand and staring at them with an absent-minded expression. He looked up when Henry entered the room but Henry refused to meet his eyes, rather going straight to talk to Pez. He could tell, though, that Liam was listening in on their conversation.

“Thanks for notifying June and Nora,” he said.

“Of course,” Pez shrugged. “How is Alex?”

“Not that well, to be honest,” Henry shook his head. “I’ll tell you later when we’re alone, but… basically, he needs to bloody sleep for a year and the whole family needs to have a good talk. Though I think this was their come-to-Jesus-moment, at least for Alex’s Mum. She ordered a family trip to the lake house this weekend, and I’m invited.”

“Well, that sounds like a good thing,” Pez shrugged. “How about you? You and Alex need to bloody talk, too.”

“And we will,” Henry promised. “I already apologised earlier, but I’ll do it properly when he’s had some sleep and doesn’t run on -” he cut himself off, unwilling to say this much in public. “I want him to be fully functioning and conscious when we have that talk.”

“Yeah, better that way,” Pez agreed. “Well, I’m glad to hear things are moving forward, even if this was really scary to witness. Not gonna lie.”

“No kidding,” Henry breathed, running a hand over his face. “I’ll think I’ll have nightmares about it.”

“At least that will be proper motivation to never let it get this far again,” Pez glowered at him. “My poor nerves, H. I’m getting too old for this.”

“Right,” Henry rolled his eyes, patting his shoulder. “Next time my life derails, I’ll think about your nerves first.”

“Thank you very much.”

As Henry made his way over to his table, he felt Liam’s eyes on his back like the heat of a thousand burning suns. 

***

“Fox!” Liam called as Henry and Pez walked out of the school. 

“Oh my god, really?” Pez groaned. 

“Just give us a moment,” Henry sighed, sending Pez ahead to turn to Liam. “What is it?”

“How is he?” Liam asked, sounding uncomfortable. “How much did he overdose?”

“I’m not sure,” Henry admitted. “Long enough to stay awake for three days.”

Liam cursed. “Why would he do that?” he demanded. “He’s smarter than this! He’s the smartest person I ever met, goddamnit!”

“Yes, but he’s also been insomniac for about a year and his anxiety made him reckless,” Henry shrugged. “You _know_ he’s got issues. You knew when you stopped talking to him.”

“It wasn’t that bad then!” Liam called, defensive now. “He was restless, but he’s always had that in him! He can get shifty, unfocused until he finds something new to divert his energy. He’s been like this since he was a little kid, so I didn’t think there was any need to worry! Plus, he had Nora, and -”

That’s where he cut himself off, jaw clenching.

“I see,” Henry breathed, deflating. “You were jealous.”

“What do you know?!” Liam lashed out. “You’ve known him for what, two months?! I’ve known him since first grade!”

“You have,” Henry agreed. “But still, you’re coming to me to find out what’s wrong with him, and that’s on you. Maybe, instead of continuing to avoid him, you should confront what he still means to you and find a way to talk to him. Believe me, you’ll feel better. I’ve spent a _week_ apart from him and it felt horrible. I’m not sure how you do it.”

Liam just looked at him, completely stomped, so Henry turned to follow Pez to where he was waiting for him at the gate. 

***

With a little help from Pez’s side, Henry had his parents convinced to let him go away with Alex’s family for the weekend and his things packed in no time. 

“I’ll tell Bea everything she needs to know,” Pez smiled at him as she watched Henry roll up his charger and put it into his overnight bag. “Don’t worry about a thing. Just focus on Alex and getting everything sorted there.”

“Right,” Henry nodded, holding in to look at Pez. “Thank you.”

“What for?” Pez raised his eyebrows.

“You know,” Henry smiled. “You’re always watching out for me, even when I make it difficult.”

“Henry,” Pez grinned. “You’re like my brother. You’ll always make my life difficult. It’s in your job description. But I’ll still love you, no matter what, and you’ll never get rid of me.”

Henry grinned and zipped his bag up. Then, he checked his mobile. 

“June says they’re on the way,” he said. “Right. I’ll see you on Monday, then?”

“Yup,” Pez nodded, getting to his feet. “Keep me updated when you can?”  
  
“Okay,” Henry agreed, grabbing his bag and accompanying Pez downstairs. 

He waited outside until Ellen arrived with the car to collect him. Nora was already there, sitting in the passenger seat next to Ellen, and she helped Henry squeeze his luggage into the trunk before he joined June and Alex in the backseat. Alex sat between them, which struck Henry as strange seeing that June was slighter, but as soon as Ellen started driving again, June’s plan became terribly obvious. 

Alex sat, glassy eyes staring unseeingly forward for a whole of two minutes before they began to droop. Soon after, he’d drifted off, his head ending up on Henry’s shoulder.

“Thank God,” June breathed.

“The drug must’ve been wearing off,” Nora noted from the front seat. “It was just a matter of time.”

“Yeah, I thought Henry might do it,” June agreed, unfolding a thin blanket she had put onto her lap and draping it over her brother’s sleeping form. “Maybe, he can at least sleep through the ride?”

“He’d better sleep until the morning, at least,” Ellen muttered, shaking her head. “Three days. I still can’t believe it. That’s 72 hours. Probably more than that. Do you know a person starts hallucinating after as much as four days of no sleep? That’s where we were heading here.”

Henry sank deeper into his seat and allowed Alex’s unconscious body to fall more comfortably against his. He carefully wrapped an arm around him, keeping him close and warm. 

“What happens now, Mom?” June asked quietly. 

“I’m not sure yet,” Ellen admitted. “But something needs to change, and we’re all going to do our part, dear. Whatever is happening here, the time for Alex to fight this alone has passed. We’ve got to support him.”

“Alex will hate that we’re making such a fuss about him, you know,” June sighed. “He’s got this thing about not wanting to be a bother.”

“And I think that’s exactly what got us here,” Ellen sighed. “You and Alex have been wonderful, and I couldn’t wish for more supportive children in my situation. But I think I scraped over the fact that, just because Alex acts like an adult most of the time, he’s still sixteen and he needs us.” Ellen sighed, shaking her head. “We’re gonna have to do better. We _will_ do better.”

Henry glanced sideways at Alex’s sleeping face, holding him a little tighter. He also wondered how his own parents would react in Ellen’s situation, or if they knew how much their son struggled with his sexual identity. Would they be as supportive as Ellen? Would they step up the way she did? 

A part of him wanted to believe that, but the bigger part was too scared to find out.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here I am again, with the third and last chapter of the weekend *coughs* I really needed to get all of this out, next week is going to become stressy, bc the looks of it. 
> 
> Anyway, this chapter has a lot of talking, and a lot of snuggling. Both needed to be done. I hope you'll enjoy it!!

Alex slept through the whole ride to the lake house, and when Ellen parked in the driveway, Henry tried to shake him awake, but his eyes didn’t even twitch. 

“We shouldn’t be surprised,” Nora shrugged, watching him from the passenger seat with a frown. “Three days is an awfully long time, and Alex’s body already built up a sleep debt before that.”

“It might take a mediocre-sized Hurricane to wake him,” Ellen agreed grimly. “But he can’t sleep in the car.”

“Maybe I could carry him,” Henry suggested. “That is, of course, if we never mention it to him. He might murder me in my sleep.”

“I think he’s too heavy, Henry,” June frowned. 

“I don’t think so,” Henry shook his head. “He’s not exactly burly or tall. Again, don’t tell him I said that.”

“He could always piggyback him,” Ellen shrugged. “He’d be less heavy like that.”

“I’d be afraid to drop him,” Henry shook his head. “He can’t exactly hold on while he’s asleep.”

“Very well, then,” Nora smirked. “Let’s do it, Prince Charming.”

“Oh God,” Henry groaned. “You’re definitely going to tell him.”

“You’ll never see it coming,” Nora grinned, opening the door and getting out of the car. 

Henry carefully untangled himself from Alex’s sleeping form to get out, as well, stretching his legs before turning back to the car, considering the logistics of this. 

“I’ll go ahead and open the door,” Ellen announced. “You can bring him -”

“To the guest room you slept in together last time,” June cut her off. “It’s better if you share again, should Alex wake and have trouble going back to sleep. You’re our best hope that he’ll actually settle down.”

“I don’t think he’ll wake,” Henry said dubiously. 

“I don’t care. Just in case.” 

“Alright,” Henry nodded, leaning down to carefully draw Alex closer. He was indeed sleeping so soundly that he was like dead weight, letting Henry handle him like a puppet. It would have worried him if his breaths hadn’t been deep and peaceful. 

Henry cradled Alex’s head against his collarbone before sneaking his arms around his waist and knees. June helped from the other side, getting the blanket out of the way. When he was sure he had a good grasp on him, he slowly, tentatively started to lift him out of the car door, stepping backwards. 

“Okay?” June asked worriedly, appearing from the other side of the car. “He’s not too heavy?”

“No,” Henry shook his head, adjusting his grip. “Actually, I’m a little concerned about how light he is.”

“Well, he barely ate this last week,” June admitted, biting her lip. “He must have lost weight.”

Henry hummed and started moving, tense and careful, paranoid that he was going to trip or accidentally knock against something. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt Alex. 

But somehow, they made it to the guest room without incident, and Henry gently placed him on the mattress where June had pushed the covers aside. She then draped them over him once more, fussing until Ellen put a hand on her shoulder and gave her a look. 

They retreated, quietly closing the door behind themselves and unloading the car. 

“Right,” Ellen nodded. “Girls, you take the bunk beds? Oscar said I can have the big bedroom, and he’ll take the couch.”

“When will Dad arrive?” June asked.

“Tomorrow morning,” Ellen said. 

“What about Leo?” Nora asked.

“I thought it better to do this without him,” Ellen frowned. “I know Oscar and I haven’t communicated well since the divorce, but we need to try for Alex. I think Leo would be in the way of that. He understands.”

There was a long silence as they stood awkwardly in the living room, just looking at each other.

“I should go for groceries,” Ellen announced. “We don’t have any food.”

“I’ll go with you,” Nora said. “June and Henry can stay with Alex, just in case.”

“Thanks,” June smiled at her. Henry had the faint impression she would have had her own breakdown as soon as she’d stepped out of the house and effectively away from Alex. 

Nora squeezed her shoulder and she and Ellen started buzzing around the kitchen, making a list of what they’d need. When they eventually left, the house felt unnaturally silent. 

June sat down on the couch with a heavy sigh, looking completely miserable. After a short moment of hesitation, Henry took a seat next to her.

“I should have noticed,” June whispered. “He was so out of it, I should have -”

“You couldn’t have known, June,” Henry shook his head. “How would it have occurred to you that he would do this sort of thing? You can’t blame yourself.”

“But he’s my baby brother,” she whispered. “If I don’t watch out for him, who does?”

“You watch out for him plenty,” Henry reminded her. “We both know that, and Alex knows that, too. Honestly, I think the last thing he wants is for you to feel guilty about this.”

June drew in a shaky breath, then she caught Henry’s gaze. “Please, don’t leave again,” she whispered. “I know things are a mess, and this might not be what you signed up for, but… you _get_ Alex, in a way none of us do, and he needs that.”

Henry gulped and nodded. “I’m done running,” he promised. “I was stupid and I feel horrible about it. But from now on, I’ll be here, no matter what.”

“Good,” June smiled at him tentatively. “Please take care of him.”

“I’ll try my best,” Henry nodded. 

“He doesn’t always make it easy,” June allowed. “But I think _this_ \- us all being here, Mom and Dad actually talking - it’s going to be a big step in the right direction. We just sat by too long and did nothing, I guess.”

“Well, Alex is a master at play-acting,” Henry sighed. “He had us all fooled that he had things under control, even when he was spiralling.”

“Right,” June sighed. “Well, no more of that.”

Henry nodded, and they sat side by side in companionable silence, waiting for Ellen and Nora to return. 

***

They had takeaway pizza for dinner because Ellen, a less-than-talented cook on normal days, was in no mood to make an attempt tonight. The fridge was stocked for breakfast for the next couple of days, though, when she and Oscar would share the duty of feeding them. She promised to do a barbecue for them tomorrow night. 

After dinner, they watched some TV together, but none of them was really in the mood for anything. Ellen kept disappearing to take calls from a woman called Zahra, someone from her office, as June explained, and June slipped into Alex’s room every half hour to make sure he was still asleep. 

When Ellen called it a night, it was a permission for all of them to end this farce of a day as well. Henry waited for his turn in the bathroom and joined Alex in bed, spending a long time staring at his sleeping face in the moonlight before eventually, he drifted off as well.

When he woke up early the next morning, it was to the bed shifting. He blinked, frowning as Alex moved into a sitting position, stretching tenderly.

“Wha’re you doin’?” Henry murmured, not quite awake yet, and Alex twitched, turning to look at him. 

“Sorry, didn’t want to wake you. I just wanted to get some water. Go back to sleep, it’s only 5AM.”

“Stay put, I’ll get your water,” Henry muttered, rolling around.

“No, it’s fine!” Alex protested. “I can -”

“I’m much faster without the crutches,” Henry interrupted him, already on your feet. “Just a moment.”

The house was quiet, everyone still fast asleep as he walked to the kitchen, grabbing a fresh bottle of water and two glasses before quickly returning to their room, his feet freezing from the short way. He passed the things to Alex before slipping under the covers once more, shuddering.

“Thanks,” Alex muttered, putting the glasses onto the nightstand and pouring for them both. Then, he handed Henry his, and he took a small sip. 

“How are you feeling?” he asked. 

“Run over by a train?” Alex sighed, putting the glass down again. “Also, really stupid?” 

Henry hummed. Alex looked at him, eyes still bloodshot and tired, even after all these hours of sleep. “Are you really back?” Alex asked. “Or will you disappear again?”

“I’ll stay,” Henry promised. 

Alex nodded, then hesitated. Henry waited, letting Alex’s tired mind figure out whatever it needed to. Finally, Alex shifted closer to him on the mattress. He put a hand onto Henry’s shoulder, pushing, and Henry went, letting himself fall back into the pillow. Alex fit himself against his side, resting his head against his shoulder. 

“Is this okay?” Alex whispered.

“More than okay,” Henry ensured him, wrapping an arm around him to hold him close, feeling Alex relax against him. 

“Gosh, you’re so warm,” Alex whispered sleepily, his own arm coming around his waist, allowing him to nuzzle even closer. Henry’s chest felt tight. 

“Let’s sleep some more,” Henry suggested, turning his head to press a gentle kiss against Alex’s forehead, thrilled when Alex let it happen. 

Alex just hummed, eyes closed, and eventually, his breathing evened, deepened, and Henry knew that he was asleep. He smiled, leaning his cheek against the top of Alex’s head, feeling the soft texture of his hair against his skin, and slowly drifted off, as well.

***

Oscar was already there when they got up the next morning. He hugged Alex tightly, but other than that, they did not address the elephant in the room at first. Instead, they enjoyed a luxurious breakfast spread Ellen and Oscar had apparently prepared together, and the two parents did their very best to speak to each other as warmly as they could manage. 

It was only when they had all eaten their fill - Oscar having refilled Alex’s place twice without asking - that they busied themselves with cleaning up and eventually approached the subject of Alex’s condition.

“Alright,” Oscar said, when they’d put the last plates into the dishwasher, “shall we do this?”

“I think we’d better,” Ellen agreed. “No point in dancing around it.”

Henry threw a glance at Alex, who was leaning against the counter, shifting his weight off his bad ankle. He looked decidedly unhappy now. 

“Shall we leave you to it?” Henry asked, referring to himself and Nora. 

“No, y'all should be here,” Ellen shook her head. “I meant it when I said you’re both a part of this.”

Henry caught Alex’s eye. “You want me to leave?” he checked, not ready to stay if Alex was against it. 

“You might as well be here,” he sighed. He looked decidedly uncomfortable, though Henry wasn’t sure whether it was at the prospect of being the centre of all this attention or at the knowledge of having Henry and Nora here to see it.

They moved to the living room, Alex sitting between Henry and June on the couch, and Henry was relieved to feel the other boy press up against his thigh. Nora was perched on the armrest next to June, and Ellen and Oscar took the armchairs. 

At last, after they’d all settled comfortably, Ellen spoke up.

“Sugar, I really need you to explain to us what was going on in your head this past week. Why did you take those pills from Liam? We need to understand.”

Alex was silent for a long moment. Then, he whispered: “I couldn’t sleep.”  
  
“But Adderall are no sleeping pills, and you know that,” Oscar said.

“Yes, I know,” Alex frowned. “It’s just… It’s hard to explain. There was so much going on in my head, and I just couldn’t go to sleep. It’s like there are a hundred voices screaming in my head when I try to lie down. So I study instead. But this time was different - worse because I couldn’t even focus on studying because I was so exhausted, but I also couldn’t sleep, and then I had this confrontation with Liam last week and I remembered his Adderall and it just… it seemed like the solution.”

“That’s not a solution, Alex,” June sighed. “If you were struggling so much, you could have come to me! You shouldn’t have done something so stupid!”

Alex hesitated, then he muttered: “I didn’t want to worry you. I know how upset you get when I don’t sleep.”

“So you thought this was better?” she challenged. 

“I didn’t think y'all would find out,” he shrugged. 

“It was a real dumbass move,” Ellen shook her head. “And we’re going to have a real talk about what could have happened to you, but that’s not what I want to focus on right now. I want to talk about why it had to get this far. Why you thought that this was necessary.”

“I told you,” Alex frowned. “I couldn’t sleep, and -”

“You haven’t been sleeping well since we split up,” Oscar interrupted him. “No, before that, actually. And we never really talked about what that whole process did to you. I guess we thought you’d eventually grow out of it, but it's obviously not that simple.”

“Why can’t you sleep, sugar?” Ellen asked, her voice gentle now. “What happens when you try to sleep? You said it’s like ‘a hundred voices screaming’? Does that mean you get worried? Anxious?”

Alex was tense now and his fingers were playing with the seam of his bandage. He shrugged and nodded. 

“What are you anxious about?” she continued. 

“I don’t know!” he snapped, frustrated. “Nothing! Everything!”

“You told the nurse you’ve had panic attacks before,” Henry said, very quietly, and Alex’s head snapped around to look at him. It was clear that he’d forgotten that Henry knew that. It seemed to scare him. 

“Is that what happens when you try to fall asleep?” June asked, sounding alarmed. “You have panic attacks?”

“No!” Alex called. “I mean, I had a few, back when Mom and Dad split, but I got it under control - that’s when I started studying at night -”

“Why did you never say anything, _mijo_?” Oscar breathed. 

“Because I had it under control!” Alex insisted. “You both had so much going on, and I didn’t need you to worry about me, on top of it!”

“Diaz, you dumbass,” Ellen scolded, her voice gentle. “You’re our son, and you’ll always be our priority. If you need us, everything else will have to wait. That’s how it is.”

“What your Mom said,” Oscar smiled. “Honestly, I dropped everything in the middle of a campaign to fly here. I’d do it again in a heartbeat. Some things are more important than politics or our own drama, and you and June will _always_ be the most important thing. Never forget that.”

Alex didn’t answer. He looked very small, all of a sudden. 

“Your Dad and I talked a bit after he arrived,” Ellen told him. “And we came up with some new ground rules. For one, we’ll try to keep the fighting to a minimum, at least in front of you. Two, we’ll make more of an effort to act as a family again.”

“Right,” Oscar nodded. “And that means shared holidays. You’ll see me around much more from now on.”

“Also, we both know we don't have the best track record when it comes to physically being around these past few years,” Ellen sighed. “You’ve been on your own a lot, and that’s on us. We’ll both try to be more present. I’ll try to make it home for family dinners more often, and we need to come up with a system where we actually talk to each other when I do.”

“And we’ll talk on the phone more,” Oscar announced. “Why is there such a thing as video chat when we never use it?”

“Those are things that we can offer you as support,” Ellen said. “But, Alex, ultimately, this is happening to you, not us, and you need to work on this yourself. So I want you to see a therapist, sweetie. I’m sorry, but this is not up for discussion.”

Alex just looked at her for a long moment. Finally, he nodded. “Okay,” he said, his voice rough. “I’ll go.”

“We’ll try finding someone appropriate on Monday,” Ellen promised. “Get you in as quickly as we can.”

“What I still don’t understand, though,” Oscar frowned, “is why all of this suddenly took such a turn for the worse. You seemed fine when I saw you over fall break - or better, at least. What happened?”

“That’s my fault,” Henry injected, his own heart hammering at the confession. “Alex and I fought.”

“Oh,” Ellen’s eyes widened. “I guess that makes sense.”

“Right,” Alex muttered. He cleared his throat and took a deep breath. “I guess this is also the moment to tell you that I’m bisexual.”

Henry choked on air. Ellen and Oscar stared. Nora snorted and muttered: “Fucking finally. Welcome to the club, dude. I’ll make you a pin.”

“I see,” Ellen said, her eyes flitting to Henry, who felt his face flush a dark colour, and then, she repeated: “I guess that makes sense.”

Oscar smiled at Alex. “Thanks for telling us.”

“You don’t need to have a catholic moment about this?” Alex checked, smiling back.

“Oh, shut up!” Oscar grinned. “Have some trust in your old man, will you!”

Alex chuckled before glancing at his mother. “What about you?” he asked. “A bi son won’t ruin your plans for a Presidential Campaign?”

“If America has a problem with my family, then I’m not willing to be their president,” Ellen shrugged. “I told you, kid. I’m your mother first. Always.”

Alex let out a breath that was bigger than him and his hand found Henry’s knee. Henry smiled and covered it with his own. Oscar’s gaze found his, and his eyes narrowed.

“Do we need you to move rooms?” he checked.

“Dad,” June rolled her eyes. “Drop it, will you?”

“What?” he asked innocently. “Evan and Nora went through it, why shouldn’t Henry?”

“Because Henry is a perfect gentleman who carried your son princess-style over the threshold,” Nora pointed out, grinning.

“He did _what?!”_ Alex demanded, looking appalled.

“Traitor,” Henry muttered, glaring at Nora. 

“No, stop, rewind!” Alex called. “When did this -”

“Now that we’ve got all the major points sorted,” Ellen interrupted him, smiling. “Why don’t we use the rest of this weekend to relax and recalibrate? It’s sunny out, so if y'all put on a jacket we can probably sit outside. If anyone’s cold, we can put on the radiator.”

“Sounds like a plan,” June smiled happily, getting to her feet. “Alex, want me to get your jacket?”

“I want to know when _you -”_ he turned to Henry, pushing his index finger into his chest accusingly, “carried me anywhere!”

“Right,” June snorted, shaking her head as she walked away. “Good luck with that, Henry.”

Henry stared after her helplessly before facing Alex with an innocent smile, knowing he was doomed.

***

After lunch, Alex took Henry to the pier to show him Oscar’s boat. “We don’t usually take it out unless it’s summer,” Alex explained as they climbed inside, Alex careful not to slip with his crutches and Henry not to spill the drinks Ellen had pushed into his hands before they took off, “but it’s still nice if you want to get away from the full house for a while.”

“Oh,” Henry said. “Is that what we’re doing now?”

“Yes,” Alex nodded, sending him a small smile before leading him into the small cabin. 

It was cosy inside - a bed just big enough to fit two people, a table, an old radio and not much else. Alex sat on the bed, and after a moment of hesitation, Henry sat next to him, handing him his glass. 

“So,” Alex muttered. “Are we going to talk, or what?”

“We’d better,” Henry nodded. “After all, your parents think I’m your boyfriend, and I’m pretty sure we haven’t figured that part out yet.”

Alex looked up at him, face cloudy now. “What happened there, Henry?” he asked. “I don’t understand. One second, you were kissing me, and then, you don’t talk to me.”

“I know,” Henry sighed. “That was bullshit. I’m sorry.”

“It was real bullshit,” Alex stressed. “I was having my tailor-made bisexual awakening and then you just fuck off.”

“I know this will sound like a lame excuse, but I just… panicked,” Henry muttered. “Your Mum came in, and I was afraid what she might say, and -” he cut himself off, taking a deep breath and starting again, from the beginning. “Alex, there’s something you need to know about me. You remember that time when I was fourteen, when I wasn’t talking to Bea and Pez?”

“Yes,” Alex nodded.

“That was because I’d figured out that I’m gay,” Henry confessed. “And it took me a long time to come to terms with that. Until now, Bea and Pez are still the only people who know.”

“Oh,” Alex blinked. “So, your parents don’t know, either.”

“No,” Henry shook his head. “I’m not sure how my family would react if they knew - not everyone is as supportive as your family, Alex. You got really lucky.” Alex just looked at him, and Henry gathered himself enough to continue: “Anyway, the point is, after we kissed, I fell back into this hole. I doubted myself, and I pushed you away. It was stupid, and I’m sorry. I didn’t think. But when I realised what I was doing, you were already so angry with me, and I didn’t know how to make it right.”

“I see,” Alex whispered. He bit his lip, then, he caught Henry’s eyes. “What do you want?”

“Anything you want to give me,” Henry said quickly. “I don’t expect anything.”

“I think I’d like you to be my boyfriend,” Alex said boldly, in that no-prisoners way he had about him that always took Henry’s breath away. “I’ve never been with a guy before, but I know that I’m better when I’m with you. I like it when you hold me close, and I think I liked it when you kissed me. You know, before you ran.”

“You did?” Henry asked, breathless now.

“Yes,” Alex smiled, putting his glass down on the table. “But maybe, you could verify that for me? It’s all quite a haze.”

Henry gulped and put down his own drink, turning to Alex. He hesitated, then he reached out to cup his cheek, smiling when Alex leaned into the touch. After, it was easier to bring their lips together, and this time, Alex responded right away, neither shy nor unsure. Alex’s lips were soft but he kissed Henry with determination, telling Henry that he’s indeed spent enough time thinking about this and knew what he wanted. Henry felt Alex’s arms wrap around his waist, pulling him closer as the kiss deepened, mouths opening and tongues touching, and Henry sank into it, letting himself arrive with Alex, letting himself find peace. And it felt so right, so perfect that he couldn’t stop, couldn’t get enough. 

They kept kissing and kissing until at last, Alex pulled away, a wide smile on his face, and seeing it there made Henry melt a little inside. He had missed seeing this side of Alex so much. 

“Right,” Alex nodded. “Thanks for clearing that up.”

“Anytime,” Henry grinned. “So, boyfriends?”

“Boyfriends,” Alex agreed. “You will have to cuddle me a ridiculous amount because I decided I’m going to be needy. Is that a problem?”

“Not at all,” Henry shook his head. “In fact, we can start right now.”

“Perfect,” Alex laughed, dimpling. He scooted back on the bed and kicked off his shoes. Henry copied him and lay down against the pillow, stretching his arm out as an invitation for Alex. The other boy promptly took him up on it, fitting himself against Henry’s side with a contented sigh. “Yes,” he nodded. “Perfect.”

Henry hummed and leaned in to kiss him again, but it was softer this time, more chaste. He could tell that Alex was becoming lazy now that he was in a horizontal position once again, and he wouldn’t begrudge him another nap. So instead, he started carding his fingers through those soft curls, luring Alex into relaxation, and he found that it worked - soon, the other boy had drifted back to sleep, a warm, steady weight against Henry’s body. 

Henry let him sleep until they were found by June. She came in to tell them it was time for dinner soon, only to hold in and watch them with a delighted smile on her face. 

“So,” she asked Henry, “You two are good?” 

“We’re perfect,” Henry promised her.

“Great,” she grinned. She took out her mobile to snatch a photo of them, much to Henry’s spluttered protest. “Mom’s starting the grill. You should wake him and come back.”

“Okay,” Henry nodded, waiting till she had closed the door behind herself before leaning in to whisper in Alex’s ear. 

“Love?” he breathed, kissing his cheek. “It’s time to go back.” Alex grumbled and burrowed further against him. Henry chuckled and caressed his back, slowly letting him come back to himself. “Come on,” he coaxed. “The others are waiting.”

“Ugh,” he groaned. “Fine. But I’m only going for the food.”

Henry laughed, gently manhandling him into a sitting position and to his feet. He took their glasses and Alex took his crutches. 

“You know Dad is going to pester you tonight,” Alex grinned at him as they exited the cabin. “He likes playing scary father-in-law.”

“He’s just playing, though, right?” Henry checked.

“Yup,” Alex ensured him. “But it’s always fun to watch. He really had Evan terrified the first time they met.”

“I’ll consider myself warned,” Henry chuckled, following Alex back towards where his family was waiting. June and Nora were setting up the table while Ellen was working the grill and Oscar was preparing a salad. His eyes narrowed as he watched the two of them approach.

Alex threw him a meaningful look and Henry suppressed a laugh.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, my dear readers! I'm back with the last chapter of this fic! This one took me a while until I was satisfied, and it's also quite long. I hope you'll enjoy it and that it's a satisfying conclusion to this story :) 
> 
> I also went back to adjust some of the accents to my satisfaction in the previous chapters. Just wanted to give you a heads up, in case you have been reading from the beginning and notice any changes. 
> 
> Again, please note that I have no personal experience with ADHD, so none of the things written in this story are scientifically backed up. I'm sorry if they are inaccurate. 
> 
> Thank you to everyone who followed this story to the end! It was a fun ride, and it made me feel a lot better these past 3 weeks :D

The drive back to Austin Sunday afternoon was strangely peaceful, considering the events that had started the whole trip. Alex was snuggled up against Henry’s side, eyes closed, though Henry could tell that he wasn’t sleeping - it seemed like he was trying to bathe in Henry’s proximity for as long as he still could, and Henry couldn’t begrudge him the sentiment. It was incredibly comforting. 

Still, Henry couldn’t keep his mind from wandering. Witnessing the way Alex’s family had interacted this weekend and clearing things up between them had unlocked something inside him, some kind of longing that he knew had been buried deep within for a long time but he’d grown so used to ignoring it that he barely paid attention to it anymore. Now, though, it had fought its way back to the surface, and Henry had no idea how to silence it anymore - or whether he even wanted to. 

When they arrived at his house, he was reluctant to let go of Alex to get out of the car. 

“Do you think you’ll be able to sleep tonight?” he asked as he unbuckled his seatbelt, stalling.

“Can’t make promises, but I’ll try my best,” Alex smiled. 

“I’ll call you later,” Henry promised.

“You don’t need to do that,” Alex sighed.

“I want to,” Henry shrugged. He hesitated, glancing towards the house, then decided, to hell with it, and leaned in to press a gentle kiss to Alex’s lips. Alex was smiling at him when he pulled away, finally forcing himself to open the car door. “See you tomorrow at school.”

“See you,” Alex nodded.

Henry’s parents were in the kitchen, laughing in what seemed to be the process of preparing some sort of dough. Henry held in to stare at them from the doorway, a bit confused. His parents rarely cooked. 

“Ah, Henry!” His father called, grinning at him the moment he took notice of him. “Good, you’re back! Your Mum and I felt like pizza today. You want to eat with us tonight?”

“Sure,” Henry nodded. 

“How was your weekend?” His mother asked, looking up. There was flour on her cheek. “Is Alex feeling better?”

“A bit,” Henry answered, biting his lip. He considered his parents for a long moment, and the longing inside of him grew stronger and louder until it almost overwhelmed him. His Mum kept watching him, a frown settling on her face.

“Is everything all right, dear?” she asked. 

“There’s something I need to tell you,” Henry burst out, in a sudden rush. 

His father froze in his movements, studying his face. Then, he dropped the dough he had been kneading and went to the sink to wash his hands. “Let’s sit at the table,” he said, his voice calm. His mother was still watching him, now with clear worry in her eyes, but she followed her husband’s example before joining the two of them at the dining table. 

Henry was fumbling with his fingers. He knew he needed to do this, but at the same time, he couldn’t  _ believe _ that he was actually doing this. What was he thinking?!

He looked at his parents again, at his mother’s worry and his father’s encouraging smile, and he knew that this was the moment. Alex wasn’t the only one who'd held back all these years. Henry needed to come clean, too.

“I’m gay,” he said, without preamble.

His mother’s eyes widened. His father didn’t react at first - he just considered him for a long moment, and the silence felt suffocating to Henry. Then, his father rose from his chair, and Henry flinched, wondering if he’d messed this up already. Out of everyone in his family, he’d always hoped his father would be the most likely to accept him, but maybe, that had been wishful thinking and really -

But all Arthur Fox did was walk around the table to pull out the chair next to Henry’s and sit down at his side, his eyes expression fond as Henry dared to look up at him again. 

“Thanks for finally telling us,” he said simply.

Henry blinked. “You knew?” he whispered.

“I suspected,” his father smiled. “I didn’t want to push you into saying anything because clearly, you weren’t feeling comfortable enough to do it. But I think I might have known before you did.”

“You never mentioned it to me,” Henry’s mother whispered.

“It wasn’t my secret to tell,” her husband shrugged, a little sheepish now. “Plus, I might have been wrong.”

“I wished I had known,” she muttered, looking sad now. “Darling… How long have you kept this inside?”

Henry gulped, shrugging, a little self-conscious now. “I was sure when I was fourteen.”

“That explains so much,” she sighed. “Oh, Henry. I wished you had told us sooner. We could have helped.”

“I wasn’t sure how you’d react,” Henry admitted, his heart pounding. “I thought you might reject me.”

“Henry,” his father said, serious now as he caught his gaze. “Nothing you could ever do would make us love you less, do you hear me? We don’t care who you love, as long as they are good to you.”

Henry let out a shaky breath, and tears blurred his vision. He desperately tried to blink them away. “Philip and Grandma might not share your views,” he warned, his voice cracking.

His father’s face hardened. “If your brother ever says anything against you, he will have to face me,” he promised. “I never liked the homophobic shit he picked up from your Grandma or all his posh Oxbridge friends, but he won’t direct them towards you. I won’t stand for it.”

“And you can leave your Grandmother to me,” his mother promised, her jaw set. “I know she’s a piece of work, but she has no authority over your life, Henry. Believe me, just because she’s the Queen’s second cousin doesn’t mean she rules the universe, much less our family. I decided to marry Arthur without her consent, so you surely don’t need her blessing for anything you do.”

Henry gaped at her, a little taken aback by her speech. “She didn’t want you to marry Dad?” he asked. “I had no idea!”

“Oh, the old gargoyle hated me,” Arthur grinned. “My parents died before you were born, so you never met them, but they were working-class - my Dad worked shifts for a carmaker, and my Mum worked part-time at the office of a plumbing firm. They barely managed to send me to college, and I had to work two jobs to make it work. One of them was performing at a pub at night, and that’s how your Mum and I met.”

“You can’t be serious,” Henry shook his head, looking back and forth between them.

“Oh, he’s very serious,” Henry’s mother grinned at him. “You should have seen him on stage, too, he was fantastic! I think that’s where Bea gets her love for music from.”

“Anyway,” his father chuckled, continuing, “when Catherine introduced me to Mary, she was livid! You can’t even imagine, Henry! But your Mum was vehement.”

“I said I would marry him no matter what she had to say about it, and that was that,” she shrugged, smirking at her husband. “It took a lot of negotiating, but look how far we’ve come. She came to terms with our marriage, we made a name for ourselves and the world hasn’t imploded yet. So, really, darling,” she said, reaching out to take Henry’s hand, “stop worrying about your grandmother’s outdated views. She will rage and then she will get over it, and life will go on.”

“Thank you,” Henry breathed. “I… thank you. So much.”

“There’s no need to thank us, dear,” she shook her head. “Not for this.”

“What I want to know,” his father asked, cocking his head sideways as he studied Henry, amused, “is what, or rather,  _ who _ brought this on. Because I’m not stupid, son. I see a pattern here. You spend a weekend with Alexander Claremont-Diaz, and return only to come out to us.” Henry flushed and his father hummed, as if that was all the confirmation he had needed. 

“You and Alex?” his mother asked, looking at him. “Oh, that’s great, darling! You should invite him over for dinner!”

“Right!” his father agreed. “How come we never got to meet him?! You’re at his house all the time! Are you hiding him from us?!”

“Well, I have been trying to hide the fact that I’m gay,” Henry muttered, a little embarrassed. “I thought Alex being here might sort of give my feelings away, seeing that I’ve been head over heels for him for a while now.”

“Makes sense,” his father mused. “I deeply disapprove of being excluded like that, but I get it. At least we met his mother and her partner. Ellen and Leo were very nice.”

“Is he really okay, though?” his mother asked worriedly, catching Henry’s eyes again. “From what Pez said, something seems to have happened?”

Henry sighed. “Alex has had trouble dealing with the divorce of his parents,” Henry admitted. “He hasn’t been sleeping well and it all came to heads on Friday. It’s okay, though, or at least I hope it will be. He’s going to get help, and at least it’s all out in the open now.”

“I see,” Catherine nodded. “I’m so sorry to hear he’s been struggling. He’s welcome here anytime if he needs to get away.”

“Thanks,” Henry smiled. “I’ll tell him.”

“And Henry,” his father said, his face serious once more, “if there’s ever again a situation you feel overstrained with, I hope you know that you can always talk to us. We’ve got your back, okay?”

Henry smiled and nodded. “Thanks,” he breathed.

His father smiled back and reached out to squeeze his shoulder.

***

As soon as Henry closed the door to his room upstairs, he checked his mobile. There were messages from Bea and Pez, but Bea was most probably asleep already and Pez could wait, he decided. Instead, he pulled up the number of the person he really wanted to talk to, dialling. 

“Henry?” Alex said as he picked up the call.

“Hey,” Henry smiled. “Sorry to call again so soon, but I needed to tell you something.”

“Okay,” Alex said, and he could hear rustling in the background as Alex most probably straightened up. “Shoot.”

“I just came out to my parents,” Henry confessed, grinning at the words hit him.

“Oh my god,” Alex breathed. “How did they react?”

“Really well,” Henry replied, and laughter bubbled out of him as he continued: “Honestly, I don’t know what I was so afraid of! Dad said he’s known all along and he just waited for me to confirm it! Can you imagine?!”

“Wow,” Alex said, laughing too. “That’s amazing, baby! I’m so happy for you!”

Henry felt the pet name like a flash of heat through his body. He could definitely get used to this, he decided. 

“They also said they’ll go after Grandma and Philip if they give me any shit,” Henry sighed, sinking down against his pillows. “Which feels  _ so good _ to hear, because I just know the two of them will be horrific.”

“You don’t mention your brother much, but every time you do, he sounds like a total dick,” Alex muttered. “I’m not sure if I can hold my tongue if I ever get to meet him.”

“Honestly, I’d love seeing the two of you face off,” Henry chuckled. “You’d give him hell. It would be so entertaining.”

“Just tell me the time and the place, love,” Alex quipped, and Henry could hear the smile in his voice. “Really, though, I’m so glad this worked out for you! I know you’ve been worried about it, and I’m so proud of you!”

“You inspired me,” Henry smiled. “The way you just announced it to your family… I knew I couldn’t keep on lying.”

“Glad to be of service,” Alex said softly. “You helped me so much, I’m happy to hear I was somehow able to return the favour. This relationship would feel imbalanced otherwise.”

“It’s not,” Henry promised. “Don’t worry about that.”

Alex hummed, and Henry could hear him yawning. 

“By the way, my parents want to meet you,” Henry chuckled.

“Oh dear,” Alex sighed. “I hope they’re prepared for Southern bluntness.”

“I think they’ll love you,” Henry said confidently. “I just found out both of them are far less conventional than I ever realised, you know. I might get my taste from them.”

Alex laughed at that, and Henry grinned. 

***

Alex was invited to dinner a Saturday night two weeks later - two weeks of holding hands at the lunch table and of stolen kisses in the corridors and of afternoons snuggled up in Alex’s room, pretending to study. 

Henry had felt weird at first, about being so public with their relationship, and sure enough, there had been some hostile looks and whispers behind their backs, but their friends had backed their game, loudly and obnoxiously. Pez had called out everyone who had looked at them the wrong way, in the presence of teachers, and Nora and June had just been so raucous and insufferable in their never-ending string of support that everyone else had had no choice but to be deafened. Henry had been scared of some kind of retaliation, at first, but when none seemed to be forthcoming, he began to relax. 

“I’m too popular to get my face kicked in by homophobic bastards,” Alex had grinned at him, making Henry roll his eyes. “And too handsome, too.”

In fact, the only person who’d approached Alex throughout these past weeks was Liam. It had been the Wednesday after he’d returned to school, and the two of them had gone home together that afternoon and talked things through.

Henry had felt a bit self-conscious about it. After all, he knew about Liam’s feelings, and while he trusted Alex, who was to say that Alex wouldn’t come out of this conversation feeling something for his childhood friend?

It turned out he needn’t have worried, though. He’d called Henry that same night, sounding tired and a bit sad but in no way torn up. 

“It turns out Liam is gay, too,” Alex had sighed into the speaker. “And when I started dating Nora after the divorce, he didn’t know how to deal with it, so he pulled away. Honestly, I’m not sure how I feel about that, but at least I understand now.”

“You’re just too fanciable,” Henry had chuckled. 

“Oh my god, stop,” Alex had groaned. “Please, stop. I don’t want to think about the fact that I have now either dated or had some unintended romantic sphere with each and every one of my friends.”

“Apart from Pez. Pez is your friend, too.”

“True! Pez, my buddy! I need to hang out with him more! Have myself some healthy, platonic friendship.”

Henry had chuckled, shaking his head. Then, he’d asked, hesitantly: “If you had known about Liam’s feelings earlier, would you have dated him?”

“Oh my god, don’t ask me that!” Alex had groaned. “How am I supposed to know?! I wasn’t in the right mindset for a relationship at that time. Look at what happened with Nora. Granted, Nora and me would have never worked, at any moment in time. I don’t know what I’d have done if Liam had confessed. Bubbled over with anxiety, most probably.” He'd huffed out in frustration, and Henry'd waited. “Maybe I’d have given it a try,” he’d admitted. “But I think it would have been a mistake. We wouldn’t have been compatible. Not like _we_ are.”

“No?” Henry had asked.

“No,” Alex had confirmed, sounding more sure. “I don’t know why or how, but we  _ fit _ , Henry.”

Henry had smiled at that, feeling warm inside at his words. “What about Liam?” he’d asked eventually. “Are you okay now?”

“I think so,” Alex had sighed. “I apologised for stealing from him and he simultaneously managed to give me no shit about it and still make me feel bad because it turns out he was actually worried.”

“Of course he was worried,” Henry had sighed. “You scared us all, sweetheart.”

“I’ll try not to anymore,” Alex had promised, and he tried to stick to his words, Henry had to give it to him. He'd started seeing a therapist twice a week, and while he still wasn’t sleeping through the whole night, at least he made sure to put in a couple of hours, even if he had to resort to (perfectly safe and prescribed) medication to make it work. Henry knew that this was not a struggle in which any of them could expect overnight results, but he was in it for the long run. He knew there would be ups and downs, and he’d be there with Alex through them. 

So when he opened the door to their Austin mansion to find Alex on his doorstep, he was in equal amounts nervous and thrilled. He could hardly believe that he was about to introduce his  _ boyfriend  _ to his parents. How was this his actual life?

“Hello,” Henry smiled at him, and Alex grinned, looking drop-dead handsome in his white button-down and for once, actually well-rested. Then, Henry did a double-take. “Where are your crutches?” he asked.

“Got rid of them yesterday,” Alex chuckled. “Had an appointment at the hospital after school and was cleared for tentative rehabilitation. It’s been four weeks, after all, and I healed fairly well, the doctor said. I still am all bandaged up and I have to be careful, but I am officially allowed to walk on both feet again.”

“That’s great!” Henry smiled widely, reaching out to pull him into a hug. “I’m so glad to hear that! One thing less to worry about.”

“I know, I know,” Alex sighed, squeezing his shoulder and kissing his cheek. “One step at a time, baby.”

Henry nodded and let go of him, allowing him to step fully into the house. “My parents are in the kitchen,” Henry explained. “They insisted on making something nice and English for dinner - you know, the good, English food that won’t have the rest of the world screaming for cover. They always feel to make a point that we don’t just eat Fish & Chips or Beans on Toast in Britain whenever we invite people from abroad over.” 

“Well, Beans on Toast is barbaric,” Alex shuddered as he carefully removed his shoe from his hurt foot. “I mean, if they were at least properly seasoned, but they’re just bland and -”

“No beans will be put on toast tonight, I promise,” Henry injected. “In fact, I don’t think beans will be served at all. Or toast, for that matter.”

“I am glad to hear that,” Alex grinned, straightening up. “Okay, let’s do this.”

Henry led the way to the kitchen, where his parents were busily buzzing around. They looked up, though, when Henry pointedly cleared his throat. 

“Mum, Dad,” he said, putting his hand on the small of Alex’s back, “this is Alex. Alex, meet my parents.”

“Thanks for having me over, Mr and Mrs Fox,” Alex said, flashing them a charming smile. 

“Please, Alex, no need for formalities,” Henry’s Dad waved him off. He quickly cleaned his hands before stepping out to shake Alex’s hand. “You can call me Arthur, and this is my wife Catherine.”

“Thank you, Arthur,” Alex nodded. He produced a small bag of candy from his pocket, looking a bit sheepish now. “My mother says hello, and since she taught me to never turn up empty-handed, please have some pralines. They’re local products because my Mom insisted I come bearing some Texan culture.” 

“That’s so sweet, thank you,” Henry’s mother beamed, taking the gift from his hand. “Oh, I’m so glad to finally meet you, Alex! We’ve heard so much about you, it’s so nice to have a face to match our son’s enthusiasm to.”

Alex bit his lip and threw a look at Henry, who’d flushed in embarrassment at his parents' words. “Right,” he muttered, clearing his throat. “So, have you finally settled on what great culinary wonders we are serving Alex tonight, or are we still going to throw the plan over halfway through?”

“Very funny,” his mother rolled her eyes. “Honestly, can’t you yet smell what’s in the oven?”

And indeed, now that Henry paid attention, the distinct scent filling the kitchen reached his nostrils. “Lancashire hotpot?” he guessed.

“100 points,” his father grinned. “Alex, I hope you don’t mind eating lamb?”

“Don’t know that I do, though I have to admit, I haven’t had much opportunity,” Alex shrugged. “I’m game, though.”

“Glad to hear that,” Henry’s father clasped his shoulder. 

“Just in case, we’re also making some bubble and squeak from the leftover potatoes, so you can nip on them if the meat isn’t up your alley,” Catherine smiled. “But we didn’t want to make you eat intestines. We know you Americans aren’t big on those.”

“I very much appreciate that,” Alex coughed, making Henry grin. 

Alex did end up liking the meal, much to Henry’s relief, and he got along with Henry’s parents splendidly. He engaged in their chatter about the foundation, got into discussions with his father about politics and fawned over Mexican cuisine with his mother. In fact, he fit in with such ease that Henry was a little awed by it, if not to say a bit envious - he wished he possessed this kind of talent. But then again, Alex was the one aiming for a political career, so he figured it made sense that he came off so charming in social situations like these. 

After they had eaten, Alex tried to help clean up, but Henry’s mother vehemently refused. “No, no, dear, you are our guest!” she insisted. “Not to mention Henry told us about your injury! You stay put!”

Henry just flashed him a grin as Alex pursed his lips, clearly tempted to argue. He carefully placed the dirty dished on the counter next to where his father had started fitting everything into the dishwasher. He looked up at him with a smile and mouthed: “He’s a good one. Keep him.”

Henry beamed, warmth spreading through his chest as he nodded. Then, he returned to Alex’s side, putting a hand on his shoulder as he asked: “So, is it okay if we go up to my room, or…?”

“Sure, go ahead, darling,” his mother smiled at him. “Have a good night.”

“And be safe,” his father threw in. His wife threw him a pointed look as the two boys flushed a dark colour. “What?” he shrugged. “I wasn’t born yesterday. He’s seventeen and in love, and -”

“Right,” Henry interrupted him, his voice high. “Goodnight, then.”

“There are condoms in the bathroom cupboard, in case you need to -”

“Oh my god, Dad, please, stop talking!”

“I’m just saying, Hen!”

They made it all the way up to Henry’s room until Henry let out a noise of mortification after the door had fallen closed behind them. Alex, on the other hand, started laughing uncontrollably. “I like your parents,” he commented, turning to face him. “And people say Brits are stiff.”

“My Dad is not a good representative,” Henry pointed out. “I’m finally starting to see why my Grandma was so horrified when Mum introduced him.”

Alex shook his head, grinning as he approached Henry and wrapped his arms around his waist. “Hey,” he whispered. 

“Hey,” Henry repeated, sobering immediately at their sudden proximity. 

Alex leaned up to kiss him, slow and deep, and Henry melted into it, his hand coming up to fist Alex’s soft curls. 

“So,” Alex whispered against his lips. “How did I do?”

“Spectacularly,” Henry replied, quite honestly. “They love you.”

“Good. That was the plan.”

“Mission accomplished, then.”

Alex nodded and went back to kissing him, soft and unhurried, teeth nipping at his bottom lip with every other kiss. It drove Henry insane and yet, he never wanted to stop. 

When Alex finally pulled away, his lips were red and wet and his smile was sort of dazed, making Henry fall for him all over again. He gestured towards Henry’s bed, and Henry nodded, letting go of Alex and allowing them to spread out on the luxurious mattress. Alex sighed, taking a moment to glance around.

“So, this is your room?” he asked, frowning. “Pretty plain.”

“I’ve only been here for a bit more than two months,” Henry shrugged. “Plus, I’m not used to doing a lot of decorating, seeing that we move so much.”

“Yes, but you’ll be here for  _ two years _ ,” Alex stressed, turning towards him. “You can allow yourself to settle down a little, you know.”

“Maybe you’re right,” Henry sighed. 

“I could help you,” Alex grinned. “We can spend more time here, too. Maybe that will make it feel more like home to you.”

“It might,” Henry smiled, reaching out to push Alex’s bangs out of his eyes. “You have a way of making me feel at home, after all.” Alex looked at him for a long moment, and Henry frowned, sensing there was something on his boyfriend’s mind. “Is something wrong?” he asked.

Alex sighed. He looked up at the ceiling before turning back to face him, this time with his whole body. “I need to tell you something,” he began, serious now.

“Okay,” Henry nodded, alert.

“You know how I’ve started going to therapy? We talked about the reasons for my insomnia, and how I always have this restlessness inside of me; how I often have trouble focusing because of it; how I seem to have this constant frustration inside of me that sometimes makes my temper boil over.”

Henry nodded, showing that he was listening. 

“My therapist suggested that the things I was describing might be symptoms of ADHD,” Alex continued, watching Henry’s face carefully. “That hit me in a deep place because I grew up with Liam and he had it. It showed differently with him, I think that’s why I never made the connection. But I remember asking about his Adderall prescription and feeling so jealous because I wished I had something that helped me focus like he did. In hindsight, maybe that should have tipped me off.” 

“So… are you going to look into it, or…?” Henry asked.

“We already did,” Alex said. “As soon as the idea was planted in my head, I wanted an answer. Last week, we had an appointment for physical checkups to exclude any physical explanations for the symptoms. After a thorough evaluation from my therapist and the hospital, they diagnosed me.”

“I see,” Henry nodded, his heart pounding. “And how do you feel about that?”

“Kind of relieved?” Alex admitted, making a face. “As weird as it sounds, but I’ve been battling this my whole life, I just never knew  _ what _ it was or how to handle it. Now I do. I know it’s not going to solve all my troubles overnight and it’s definitely not the root of everything - the anxiety is still its own problem, and I have to deal with that in my own time - but figuring this out feels like a huge thing.”

“I’m glad,” Henry smiled. Then he asked, a bit hesitant: “Will they prescribe you anything?”

“I’ve been taking something for the past two days,” Alex nodded. “No Adderall. Both my parents and my therapist voted against that, considering recent events. Also, Adderall is too stimulating and it would make my insomnia worse. I need something that counteracts the restlessness I feel. So she gave me something different. She said it would take a while to show real effect, but I already feel a bit different, I think. Maybe it’s psychosomatic.”

“That’s great, though,” Henry breathed. “I’m so glad you’re getting help!”

“So am I,” Alex nodded. He caught his eyes again, sobering once more. “I just - I need you to know that this is a thing now. Or has been a thing, always, and it won’t go away. The anxiety, I might get over that at one point or another, but the ADHD, that will always be a part of me. I need you to know what you’re getting into.”

Henry raised his eyebrows. “You think I’m going to back out?” he asked.

“I wasn’t sure,” Alex admitted. “I know I’m a handful. I know this whole thing hasn’t been easy. I’d understand if you -”

“Alex,” Henry shook his head, moving closer to him and wrapping his arm around his waist. “We know that it’s ADHD now, but that doesn’t make you a different person. I fell in love with the Alex who always had a fire under his ass, and who had a temper as explosive as a volcano, and who’d jump tracks faster than I could follow. I always knew what I was getting into, and I love every part of you. I love you  _ because  _ of them. You don’t have to worry about me. All I care about is that your life gets a little easier, and if that diagnosis or the medication helps, then I’m happy about it. But it won’t change a thing about how I see you.”

Alex stared at him, shaking his head. “I don’t know how I deserve you,” he whispered. “I’m all broken ends, and you’re so perfect.”

“Are you kidding me?” Henry snorted. “I’m just as much of a mess as you are! I get so dark and insecure on a regular basis that I push the people I love away, even though I have absolutely no reason for it. By that definition, we’re both broken, Alex, and that’s okay. We can lean on each other.”

Alex smiled at that. “I’d like that,” he nodded. 

Henry cupped his cheek to kiss him again, lingering this time, pouring his love and commitment into the touch and hoping it translated. Alex let out a shaky breath against his lips and held on tight, deepening the kiss. 

“You know,” he whispered, “it’s only been two months. Sometimes it scares me how deep my feelings for you go.”

“I know what you mean,” Henry breathed, resting his forehead against Alex’s. “Are we being stupid teenagers?”

“Probably,” Alex grinned. “But I think we’re allowed.”

Henry grinned back, kissing him again. This time, their kiss turned steamier, Henry’s blood pounding in his ears as their tongues tangled together and Alex’s fingers dug into his shoulders.

“Your Dad was real about what he said earlier, right?” Alex asked as he broke away. His brown eyes were dark and hungry and it sent heat to Henry’s stomach. “He won’t throw me out onto the street on my bare ass if we do stuff?”

“No, he was serious,” Henry nodded. “But you should know, Alex - I’ve never done anything. Like - at all. You were my first kiss.”

He clapped his mouth shut before anything more embarrassing could tumble out. Ugh, way to go, Henry. 

Alex eyes, though, had softened. He cupped Henry’s jaw and whispered: “We don’t need to do anything if you don’t -”

“No, I want to!” Henry injected hastily. “I  _ really _ want to,” he stressed, and Alex bit his lip, clearly suppressing a grin. “I just - I might be bollocks at it.”

“I thought ‘bollocks’ was the whole point here,” Alex teased, imitating Henry’s accent and making the other boy roll his eyes in turn. “Honestly, babe, you think I know what I’m doing? I might have been with girls, but I’ve never been with dudes before, and as far as that PPT from my mother goes, the process is very different.”

“PPT?” Henry asked, choked. 

“Don’t ask,” Alex moaned. “Or I might need to jump out of the window. Jesus Christ.”

“Okay,” Henry nodded, processing. “But you have…?”

Alex sighed, looking at him. “Yes,” he admitted. “There was my first girlfriend, and there was Nora. But before you start feeling insecure, my feelings for you are in a whole other league.”

“Yeah?” Henry checked. 

“Yes,” Alex nodded. “You know that Nora and I just experimented, really. And that other girl - well, I was a Freshman, she was a Sophomore from June’s year, until now I don’t know why she gave me the time of the day but whatever. We met at Nora’s birthday party and split up a couple of months later. It was my first big crush. It wasn’t a huge deal.”

“But you slept with her?” Henry asked. 

“No, I didn’t say that,” Alex frowned. “Geez, I was fourteen. Or fifteen by the time anything happened, I think. We made out, we touched each other. Nothing else.”

“So, you slept with Nora?” Henry asked, feeling a bit strange with that knowledge. 

“I - yes, but does that really matter?” Alex sighed. “I told you, Nora and I were never really coupley, to begin with. It’s not like I regret it because I was messed up and I felt safe with her, I think, but it was never romantic in the first place. Not like it is with you.”

“No?” Henry checked, catching Alex’s eyes.

_ “No,” _ Alex stressed. “You are different, and I don’t care how experienced either of us is because this is about you and me and no one else. Unless you want to wait. Because if you’re not ready, I’m okay with that. But please don’t make this about any of my past relationships, because you have nothing to worry about.”

Henry smiled and nodded. “Sorry,” he muttered. “I didn’t mean to make you explain yourself.”

“If it makes you feel better, I’ll tell you whatever you need to know,” Alex said earnestly. 

Henry leaned in to kiss him, soft and lingering. “I guess I’m just nervous,” he whispered. “I’ve been wanting this for so long, and now that it’s happening, I’m afraid to mess it up.”

“I can’t think of any way for you to mess this up,” Alex smiled. “If anything, it will be something for us to laugh about later. So please, stop worrying, or I’ll go down, make tea, wrap you up in a blanket and cancel any sex for the foreseeable future.”

“Don’t you dare!” Henry called, glowering when Alex just chuckled, a mischievous glint in his eyes. 

“That’s the spirit,” he praised. He ran his fingers down Henry’s spine, watching the other boy shiver in delight. “So, what would you like to do?”

“I’d like to take your shirt off, for now,” Henry breathed.

“That can be arranged,” Alex shrugged, rolling onto his back to allow Henry’s fingers better access. He felt unusually clumsy as he unbuttoned the fabric, but Alex was patient with him, clearly enjoying his eagerness. He ran his knuckles across Henry’s neck as he worked, making him shiver, and when the last button was finally undone, he shrugged out of the sleeves and discarded the fabric on the floor, looking up at Henry expectantly.

Henry’s breath caught as he stared down at Alex. He was way too beautiful, his dark, smooth skin looking so warm and soft and making Henry want to touch him all over and never stop. When Henry’s eyes found Alex’s again, they were bright and warm and Henry felt hot all over. 

God, he’d really fallen  _ hard _ for this boy.

“So,” Alex asked, a small smirk playing on his lips. “Is this a one-way street, or…?”

“Oh,” Henry blinked, startled as he reached for his own shirt. Together, they got rid of that, too, resulting in the two of them meeting skin on skin, at last. Henry’s moan was swallowed in a kiss, Alex pulling him close so that Henry covered him completely, and it felt  _ marvellous _ , unlike anything Henry had ever felt. Alex’s skin was so warm against his and his scent was everywhere, surrounding him, and he felt the need to just burrow into him and disappear. 

Henry didn’t know how long they just kissed and touched but eventually, Alex thrust his hip against Henry’s, making their very notable erections frot against each other through the fabric of their trousers, and Henry had to pull away to gasp for air.

“Oh god,” he breathed.

“Yeah,” Alex grinned, his hands going to Henry’s bottom and holding on as he pushed his hips up into Henry’s once more. Henry moaned. “You wanna get off like this, or -”

“Actually,” Henry muttered, heat rising to his face, “I want to try something. If that’s okay.”

“I’m up for anything,” Alex said quickly, then snorted, adding, “Literally and figuratively.”

Henry rolled his eyes, but he pushed himself up and slowly moved down Alex’s body. He sprinkled kisses everywhere he could reach along the way - his neck, his collarbone, his sides, his stomach - until he reached the waistband of his chinos.

He started undoing them, not allowing himself to give the process too much thought. Alex squirmed helpfully, shimmying out of the material, and soon, Henry had pulled both the trousers and his pants down Alex’s legs, leaving him quite naked. 

Henry took a moment to drink in the sight before he reached out, reverent palms running up Alex’s strong thighs, feeling the muscles twitch underneath his fingers. When he looked up, Alex was watching him, his lower lip caught between his teeth and his eyes hooded. 

At last, Henry’s eyes landed on Alex’s prick, where it lay hard against his stomach. He gulped, his throat suddenly feeling dry. His trembling fingers reached out to wrap around it, his hold loose and careful, but Alex’s eyes fell shut at the contact and he let a soft sound slip. 

It gave Henry the courage he needed to scoop down until his head was level with Alex’s crotch. He ran his thumb over the tip once, hearing Alex take a shaky breath, before moving his fingers down to the base and fisting him there. 

At the first tentative lick Henry gave to the head, Alex bucked his hips and cursed in Spanish. Henry pulled away and stared up at him with wide eyes.

“Sorry,” Alex gasped. “I wasn’t - shit, give a guy some warning next time! I thought you were working up to that, not just  _ diving right in. _ ”

“Is that bad?” Henry asked, his voice small.

“No!” Alex called, shaking his head. “I was just caught off guard. Please, by all means, continue.”

Henry nodded, clearing his throat and returning his attention to the erection in his hand. He licked his lips before leaning in again, moving lips and tongue over the sensitive head, getting used to the sensation and slowly working his way further down.

He could hear Alex’s breathless noises with every move he made, and it gave him a rush. He had no idea how he was doing - he had read up on this, but theory and practice, he found, were two very different things - Alex’s voice in his ear, though, gave him the courage he needed to push on and explore with a confidence he didn’t feel. 

He got his cues on what felt good from Alex. When Henry had a good rhythm going, his fingers would scramble for purchase on the covers underneath him, fisting them. When his tongue moved over his slit, he’d shudder and his voice would sound completely wrecked. 

He gasped Henry’s name as he came, along with some terms of endearment and a couple of curses in two languages, and it was so  _ Alex _ that it made Henry smile. He kissed his way up his body again until he was level with him once more. Then he stroked his face and waited for Alex to open his eyes.

_ “Dios mío,”  _ he sighed, his eyelids finally fluttering open, and he blurrily looked up at Henry. 

“Good?” Henry checked.

“If you can’t tell, you haven’t watched enough porn in your life,” Alex deadpanned, and Henry grinned. He pulled Henry into a deep, lazy kiss, sighing against his lips. “I told you, it doesn’t matter how experienced we are,” he murmured. “We’ll just make up for it with enthusiasm and passion.”

“I have that,” Henry promised.

“I can tell,” Alex grinned. He hummed, stretching lazily before announcing: “Right, your turn. Ready for me to return the favour?”

“You don’t need to,” Henry frowned, suddenly shy. “I am alright with you touching me. I’m so wound up I’m going to come in three seconds, anyway, to be honest.”

“You think that’s going to stop me?” Alex asked, raising his eyebrows. “I thought you knew me better than that, babe. When do I ever back down from a challenge?”

“Right,” Henry laughed, rolling onto his back. “True, that.”

“Glad we understand each other,” Alex smirked. “Now let’s get you out of those clothes so I can get my mouth on your dick.”

So that’s what they did. Henry had barely kicked off his last garments before Alex was already arranging him to his satisfaction. Henry lay back, but was unable to look away. 

“Right,” Alex said, grinning up at him. “This is new for me, too, so we’re on even field here. Maybe that makes you feel better.” Henry reached out to smooth back Alex’s curls, and Alex leaned into the touch like a cat. “You can keep doing that,” he muttered, his voice so soft it even resembled a purr. “But don’t pull.”

“Noted,” Henry whispered.

Alex hummed and reached out to fist Henry’s erection. Henry let out a stuttered breath, watching as Alex leaned in without preamble, swallowing him down past the head. 

Henry’s toes curled at the feeling of incredible heat, soft suction and the sight of Alex’s lips wrapped around him. He reminded himself feebly that this was real and that he wasn’t dreaming, but soon, conscious thought became too much of an effort as Alex began to move in earnest.

Henry bit his lip hard, trying to keep his sounds in as the sensations overwhelmed him, his eyes glued to Alex even as his eyes threatened close at the pleasure. He wasn’t ready to miss a second of this. His fingers stayed wrapped in Alex’s soft hair as his head bobbed up and down but, as instructed, he didn’t pull, nor did he push. It was still a comfort to feel the strands between his fingers as he himself seemed to be floating out of his body in ecstasy. 

And then, way too soon, the tide turned and the heat rushed into each and every one of his limbs, overtaking all of his senses. His head tilted back as he came, unable to keep watching any longer, and for a long while, he knew nothing but pleasure, Alex’s mouth on him, working him through it, and then, Alex’s hands and lips on his face and shoulders, slowly coaxing him back to reality.

“So,” he breathed into Henry’s ear. “I take it that was acceptable.”

Henry chuckled, blindly turning to snuggle into him. Alex wrapped his arms around him, and, in an afterthought, pulled the covers over them as well. They lay in silence for a long minute, just enjoying the intimacy of post-coital bliss. 

Finally, when Henry’s brain cells had regrouped enough to string thoughts together, he murmured: “Right. We need to do that again.”

“Tonight?” Alex grinned. 

“Wouldn’t be opposed to it,” Henry shrugged. “Give me a couple of minutes and I can go again.”

“Glad to see we’re on the same page there.”

Henry smiled up at him and Alex grinned back, stretching lazily. 

“I think I’m going to sleep very well tonight,” he predicted.

“I’m glad to hear that,” he said, earnestly.

Alex’s eyes were soft when they met his again, and he leaned in to catch his lips in another kiss.


End file.
